Family Affair
by The Lori C
Summary: The sequel to "Lean on Me."
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Why are we doing this again?" Brian asked Kim while he changed Paul and Lana's ten month old son, Danny. Kim had volunteered both of them to take Danny while Paul and Lana had gone to their respective appointments.

"Are you hard of hearing or did you forget to clean the wax out of your ears again?" Kim asked back, handing him a clean diaper. "I told you, Lana had a doctor's appointment and Paul was meeting with creative. Besides, they're our best friends and it was only right that we'd watch Danny while they were gone."

"Funny, nobody told _me_ about a meeting."

"They're working on that story thing for Backlash I told you about, remember?" Kim reminded him.

"Oh, right. I _did _meet with them a few days ago about that. I'm supposed to be the bad guy, but at present, I'm getting stuck being barfed on and shit on by a miniature PL. Woohoo, I am one scary dude."

"Some way to talk about your godson. Good grief."

"When are they going to start teaching this kid to use the throne anyway?"

"Brian, Danny isn't even a year old. Kids usually aren't potty trained until they're about _two_."

"We got to put up with _another year _of the nastiest, grossest smelling diapers in the universe?"

"More like PL and Lana do ninety-nine percent of the time, but that's how it works."

"One thing about it, no matter how you slice it, Danny here gets his sense of offensive odors from his dad."

Brian then held up the bag containing the soiled diaper. "I'm going to take this to the nearest toxic waste dump."

"God, you are so dramatic," Kim replied, picking up Danny. "I'd hate to see how you are if we ever have one of these."

"Which may be awhile. Meanwhile, we can stick with the ones that can be given back at the end of the day."

"Just take that thing to the Dumpster," Kim sighed as the phone rang. "I need to get the phone anyway."

Balancing the baby on her hip, Kim picked up the receiver to find Lana on the other end. "Oh hey, lady!"

"How's Danny doing?" Lana asked. "I'm just about to leave the office."

"He's great. Brian changed him and actually lived to tell about it. He went to dump the shitty diaper. So how did everything go?"

"False alarm," Lana replied. "Thank God; I don't think I could do two kids so close together. I want to wait until Danny's at least two or three before I even _think_ of another child, though I may not have much time left."

"I wouldn't rule it out," Kim said. "There's women having kids in their forties and fifties these days. The joy of modern medicine."

"Whatever the case, I'm considering myself lucky for now, especially since the doctor gave me a prescription for the pill."

Brian came back in, banging the front door before scrubbing his hands. "Who's on the phone?"

"Mama," Kim answered. "She had a false alarm."

"Wow, that's a shocker, considering she and PL are always screwing like rabbits. At least we won't have to worry about any more of his DNA being spread around for the time being. Talk about a scary thought."

"No, a scary thought would be _your_ DNA being multiplied," Kim deadpanned before going back to her phone call.

"Yeah, yeah, tell me that in a few years. I'm going to go work out. I'll be back in about an hour."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"What is that nasty ass smell?" Brian asked, making a face, going to the kitchen to inspect the source.

"If you must know, it's my mother's pasta recipe," Kim replied, "and nobody ever had a problem with it before."

"It fucking stinks."

"No, you're probably smelling your own funky self because you forgot to put deodorant on again."

The others in the living room began to laugh heartily.

"Nice to see some things haven't changed," Cricket said, wiping away tears.

"Yeah, even married, Kimbo and Spanky are still going at it," Paul grinned. "It's never a dull moment."

"Kimberly's like a diaper," Brian complained, "always on my ass and full of shit."

"And you bring most of it on yourself," Kim yelled from the kitchen.

"Don't you have whatever you freshly killed to finish cooking?" he called back.

"Speaking of diapers," Lana said as she picked up the baby monitor, "I need to go check on my son."

"_Your _son?" Paul asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, _I_ was the one that carried Danny for nine months and spent sixteen hours in labor, remember? You had the easy part," Lana responded.

"Of not pulling out in time," Brian added before Paul whacked him on the head.

She went to the back and picked up Danny, who was now awake. The others could hear Lana cooing at him as he giggled and patted his mother's face.

"Oh my, I think someone may need a little change too," she added, taking Danny over to the changing table.

"Must not have been too toxic," Brian said after a few minutes went by. "She'd been calling for PL by now."

"Yeah, I always get the real ripe ones," Paul agreed. "_Mami_ takes care of the less messy ones."

"What the hell do you and she feed that kid anyway?"

"Uh…baby food?"

Lana then came out, carrying Danny, sitting down and putting him in Paul's lap.

"Finally some quality time with my royal heir," Paul grinned, playing with Danny a little.

"Yeah, once again, _Papi _gets most of the easy stuff. I'm just the mean _Mami _that has him ninety eight percent of the rest of the time."

Paul downed the rest of his soda before letting out a loud belch. Danny grinned and let out a giggle.

Lana made a face at him. "Paul Michael!"

He looked back at her. _"What?" _

"Were you raised by wolves? We have company!"

"Well, he's certainly hairy enough to have been," Brian quipped. "Dude shaves and two days later, he's back to totally furry."

"This coming from Mr. I Can't Grow Hair On My Legs," Paul retorted. "Jealous much?"

"Come to think of it, man, I think even _Kim_ has hairier legs than I do."

"I just shaved this morning!" Kim cried, coming in to join the others. "Don't even go there."

"Speaking of Mr. Hairy here, don't even get me started on the bathtub drain getting backed up and maintenance digging out enough hair to make a sweater or two when they were here the other morning," Lana said.

"Oh sure, blame me for that," Paul groaned.

"All the hair they dug up was _black," _Lana replied. "Last time I checked, mine was red, and Danny obviously isn't old enough to use the bathtub by himself."

"What, you all never heard of Drano?" Suzanne asked.

"Drano sees Paul's hair and runs the other way," Brian cracked. "Take it from a dude who knows. I used to see that shit of his in my own drain more times than I can count. At least Kimberly cleans the fucking tub out when she's done."

"Even the few curly blond hairs I find here and there," Kim nodded before she got up. "I have to go back and check on my 'fresh kill,' as my loving husband calls it."

"Have a taste of it while you're out there," Brian suggested. "That way, if it doesn't kill you, it's safe for the rest of us to eat."

"Very funny," Kim said, shaking her head. "I was going to sneak some arsenic in _your _portion, but then I remembered that I hadn't paid on the life insurance yet."

"See what I put up with?"

"You eloped with her, dude," Paul pointed out. "You must have liked something."

Soon they heard a strange sound and Lana glared at Paul before making a face at the smell that filled the room.

"And I know _that_ isn't whatever the hell Kim is cooking," Brian spoke up.

"I swear, it was Danny," Paul said, pointing at the baby when the others looked at him like he was responsible for the offensive odor.

"Oh, that's class," Lana said, taking her son. "You decide to let it rip and blame the _baby_."

Kim peeked out of the kitchen. "That's right up there with Brian letting one fly and blaming it on Chester. And he wonders why the cat uses everything for a scratching post?"

"I'm telling you all, it was the baby," Paul protested. "His diaper vibrated."

"He's telling the truth this time," Lana nodded once she'd inspected Danny's pants and handed him back to Paul. "Here. It's your turn anyway."

"Oh lucky me," Paul groaned. "I get to change yet another shitty diaper."

"You're the one that wants quality time with your son," Lana responded, "so enjoy."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Paul, come on, not tonight," Lana groaned, half asleep, as she felt his hand crawl up her leg before smacking it away.

"I'm gone for sixteen days and I can't even getting in a little fun with my own wife when I do come home?" he whined.

"Sure, just not _tonight_. I have my period."

"More than one way to work around _that."_

"No. I feel bloated, I'm tired, and besides, Danny was fussy all day from a cold."

"Damn, I'm horny," Paul murmured.

She rolled her eyes and was ready to doze off again. "So go jerk off. Not like you haven't done it before."

"Wow, and to think that I thought after we get married, we could have sex _all_ the time."

Lana opened her eyes wide. "Is _that_ why you finally decided to marry me when Danny was six months old?"

"Come on, Lana, surely to Christ you don't think I'm _that_ shallow."

"Sometimes, I have to wonder," she replied before Danny began to fuss over the baby monitor.

Here we go again, she thought, going into the baby's room and picking him up.

"Hi, sweetheart," Lana said gently, before getting a whiff of an offensive odor. "Well, _Mami _was going to ask what was wrong, but I think I have a general idea. My goodness; I swear sometimes you, Uncle Brian, and _Papi_ get into contests to see who can be the stinkiest."

She placed Danny on the changing table, gently removing his pajamas bottoms before peeling off the soiled diaper, cleaning him well before putting on a clean diaper and pajamas.

"There we go," Lana smiled at him. "That should feel a bit better, huh?"

Danny patted her face in response before resting his head on her shoulder, Lana then heading over to the rocker where she sat with him before the baby finally went back to sleep. She then got up quietly, placing him back into the crib and lightly stepping out of the room, heading back down to her own.

I guess now that I'm fully awake, I guess it's _Papi's _turn to be put to sleep, she thought with a slight, evil smile.

"Took you long enough," Paul said, now flipping through TV channels. "I was going to send out the search party for you."

"I guess this means you haven't gone to jerk off yet," she replied, seeing what he was doing. "Looking for the porn channel?"

"Very funny, darling," he grunted.

"Come to think of it, I have a better idea after all," she said with a smirk.

He raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

Before he could say anything else, Lana pushed him down on the bed, capturing his lips in a kiss.

"Holy shit, what are you _doing?" _he groaned as she slowly began to kiss her way down his chest and stomach. Her hands inched up his thighs to the waistband of his boxers before pulling them down and off.

Lana giggled a little as she kissed her way up one leg and then the other, focusing attention on the sensitive area around his manhood. Paul was going nuts and wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to stay in control.

When she finally tired of teasing him she turned her attention to his fully erect member. She swirled her tongue around the tip, and then groaned as she took him down completely, losing himself in the pleasurable sensations.

With him fully buried in her mouth, Lana was rubbing his balls with her hand and stroking him at the same time.

Paul grunted and sighed, his hands in her hair while she worked her magic on him, knowing he wasn't going to last much longer.

"Lana…." he groaned, getting close to his release.

She kept her eyes on him as he came, his body bucking wildly as grunts of ecstasy escaped from his lips. Lana took his release into her mouth, coming up for a sweet kiss once she'd finished the task at hand.

They then cuddled for awhile before drifting off, Lana thinking she certainly did have a talent for putting her guys to sleep, even at their fussiest.

Paul wasn't sure what the hell had caused Lana to change her mind, but after the hot scene he just experienced, who was he to complain? It certainly beat porn and jacking off any time of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Paul would be away for yet another overseas trip this time; two weeks of him being gone.

Unlike a lot of women in her position that were newly married to men in his field, it hadn't bothered Lana all that much; perhaps being his secretary before her having Danny and getting married had given her some advantage, or even the fact she was used to being alone and independent long before that.

Whatever it was, she didn't mind Paul being gone at all; it just made her appreciate him even more when he did come home.

Sure, Paul could be clingy and display a bit of jealousy when anyone would give Lana a little bit of attention or affection; he had a huge ego, he could be jerk, he had anger problems, got on her nerves whining about being bored now and again and not picking up his things, but honestly, what man _didn't _have drawbacks?

But his redeeming qualities outshone those drawbacks; he was funny as hell, adorable, a wonderful father to Danny, a sensitive guy that loved Lana and did romantic things for her even without a special reason, and dammit, he had the most beautiful eyes when he cried. Lana saw those same eyes in Danny, which endeared her even more.

And he wasn't an abusive asshole like Billy had been. No, even with his quirks, Paul was a far more considerable _upgrade_. She silently thanked both God and Denise each day for bringing this charmer of a man into her life, even if had been initially as Lana's new employer.

Funny how things worked out for the best when Lana had least expected it.

When it came down to the nitty gritty, Lana loved everything about Paul, even his being a slob, the ego issue (though at times, she'd taken the liberty to gently take him down a peg in that department), his eccentric friends, the moodiness, and pestering her for sex whether she was in the mood or not.

He may have been a pain in the ass at times, but he was _her_ pain in the ass and Lana loved Paul beyond reason, taking both the good and the bad. She wouldn't have traded him for anyone else in the world, nor could she think of any man that would have been a better _papi _for Danny.

And if people didn't like that, well phooey on them too, she thought.

Lana had gone back and remembered the conversations she'd had with some of his friends and colleagues, getting stories about him before she had come into the picture.

How he had worn his heart on his sleeve and women taking advantage of that, how he'd loved and done the same romantic things for women that he'd presently done for Lana, only with the other women, they had thought that they could get away with cheating and he'd taken the verbal abuse, because Paul had loved them so much that the thought of them leaving had scared him.

My God, Lana has thought at the time, he's had the female versions of Billy. No wonder she had been so comfortable with and sympathetic toward him from day one.

She couldn't fathom why _any_ woman would want to treat him so badly; maybe that had been where the periods of him being a total jackass at times, to cover up all that hurt.

But Lana had seen right through it all; perhaps that was why they had ended up 'clicking' in the end.

She had initially found it both odd and amusing that even after all the beautiful women he'd been surrounded with on a daily basis, and even attractive young fans milling about, Paul had chosen _her. _Lana had silently questioned it for a long time, but looking back, she no longer did; she just figured that some things just happened for a reason.

The sound on the baby monitor snapped Lana out of her thoughts; Danny had woken from his nap.

Back to _Mami_ time, she thought with a slight smile as she went to get her son. At least she'd get to spend even more of plenty quality time with her 'other man' over the next two weeks while his _papi_ was away.

Not that she was complaining about that either.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Paul looked to be in one of his pensive moods again one afternoon; Lana sat down beside him, keeping one eye on Danny, who was now sixteen months old.

"What's the matter?" she asked gently.

"Nothing."

"Nothing, my ass," she replied, putting her head on his shoulder. "I know that look from way back when I started working for you. This is your _wife, _remember? Spill."

"Sometimes I wonder if it's worth doing what I do," Paul sighed.

Lana gave him a confused look. "What brought all of this on? You've worked and trained for years; you've always loved what you do. This has been your dream since you were eleven years old."

"I know," he nodded, "but it's been total shit lately. For example, they've been doing that at house shows; Brian gets to wrestle and I'm stuck backstage playing with a shoe string."

"Well, surely they can't use everyone all the time, can they?"

"No, but this showing up just to sit on my ass is getting old. Why can't they just start telling me beforehand before I waste my time and energy even going down there?"

"Now that I can agree with," Lana nodded. "I'd be rather put off myself."

"I don't go down there to count tiles, play beats with my fists on the locker doors and watch other guys shower and change," Paul continued. "And then when I _do_ get to wrestle, I give it one hundred and fifty percent, get concussions, tear muscles, pull something, and they don't even take notice."

"Except when I chew a few new assholes," Lana said. "I cannot believe they were going to let you leave the arena without being seen! Thank goodness Brian was there or God only knows what could have gone wrong."

"Uh yeah, thanks for that, by the way. But you didn't have to make that big of a scene out of it."

"Trust me, if something involves my husband and the father of my son and nothing is being done about it, you can guarantee I'm going to raise hell, no matter how much of a fool I make of myself."

"Still, I can help but wonder why am I out there risking my health and safety and life _once a month_ when I could make more money doing something safer?"

"Again, because you love what you do and are living your dream," Lana reminded him.

"Living the dream, yeah. They even gave _Brian_ a raise! I'm happy for my buddy for that, but still."

"Don't worry; the way he goes through it, not to mention with a little help from Kim now, he's not going to be much further ahead anyway."

"Shit. I could be a lawyer that makes 80,000 a year and still be making more money than I make now," he pouted.

"And you'd be boring as hell," she replied, trying to lighten the mood. "Hardly the high-flying, risk-taking man I fell in love with."

"I would? I thought I was already boring."

"Ha! Not by a long shot, mister. A pain in the ass sometimes, but hardly boring. More like someone with some common sense."

Their attention was diverted when Danny pulled himself up to a standing position on the sofa arm, grinning and hazel eyes shining.

"Hey Danster," Paul said, finally smiling, then turned back to Lana. "When did he start doing this?"

"About two days before you came home," she replied.

"Another thing that happens; I always miss the good stuff with Danny."

"Don't worry, it's only a matter of time before he's walking and the _real_ fun starts keeping curious little fingers out of things."

He then picked up Danny, who was now clinging to Paul's pants leg. "Jesus, what are you feeding this kid? He's like picking up a ton of bricks now."

"Come on, you probably bench press more than three times what that child weighs and you're complaining _he's_ heavy?" Lana asked with a chuckle. "He's a growing boy."

"_Papi," _Danny said.

Both Paul and Lana were in shocked silence for a moment before he spoke again.

"Did he say what I thought he did?"

"Well, at least you didn't miss his first word," she smiled. "It certainly sounded like _Papi_ to me. And to think I spend more time with him than anyone and what's the first thing he says?"

Paul gave her a cheesy grin, putting Danny on his lap. "_Papi, _of course. That's my boy."

Lana nodded, pleased to see the change in his mood for the better; their son couldn't have chose a better time—or a first word to say—than the present.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"**KIMBERLY!" **Brian bellowed after seeing the statement for the latest acquisition Kim had gotten for the living room, **"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"**

"What the hell is what?" she called back.

"_Six hundred dollars _for just a fucking couch? What were you thinking? Jesus Christ, we could have gone down to the furniture warehouse or even Ikea and gotten a whole new living room set for less than that."

"Well, we just needed a new couch, not a whole living room."

"We still could have gotten something that didn't practically send me into bankruptcy."

"Yeah, some half assed Chinese shit either yours or Paul's round asses would have broken in two weeks, if that. Besides, I don't know what you're bitching about. You just got a raise and this was something we needed anyway."

"Which doesn't give you a license to make me your human ATM machine. What is yours may be yours, but what is mine is not yours; it's _ours_, and I'd like to have some say when you're going to buy stuff."

"You buy dumb shit and don't consult _me_ about it," Kim pointed out. "Most of it you need as much as you need a second hole in your ass."

"Which I go out and bust my ass nearly 300 days a year to bring into this house. You on the other hand, sit on yours most of the time except for working two lousy days a week down at the crisis center, when you aren't spending what I make like water."

"At least I got something we _did_ need."

"And spent six hundred dollars for it. Fucking Christ. That thing had better be lined with gold."

"Look at it like this way; at least we got one decent piece of furniture. By the way, you still owe Paul five hundred dollars for all the porn your ordered."

"Can't exactly pay him now; you blew that plus an extra hundred on that thing your ass is now parked on."

"Oh come on, you have to give this a test run. If nothing else, if you're going to still be a buzzkill, you're probably going to be sleeping on it tonight."

Brian rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll try the damn thing. I still better find some gold in it."

"I think you'll find better than that. Check it out."

"Wow, _foot rests? _Damn! I thought only La-Z-Boy chairs had this shit."

"It also has heating," Kim added.

"No kidding?"

"And easy to clean. A couple of wipes, and it's immaculate again."

"I guess that explains why it was so expensive. I might sleep on this thing after all."

"I was kidding about that, Bri," she grinned. "Anyway, does this mean I'm off the hook?"

"For now," he nodded. "But next time you get an idea about going on a wild spree like this, give me a little warning, will you?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Hey, Kim, watch this," Brian snickered, seeing Paul in the living room tinkering around.

"What are you up to?" she asked.

"Check it out; you'll fucking howl."

"This better not be something stupid or involve the baby or I will cut your balls off and sell them on eBay."

"Trust me, you're going to get a kick out of this. And no, this doesn't involve Danny."

"In that case, knock yourself out," Kim nodded, now having a general idea.

"**EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" **he cried, going into the living room.

"What's your problem?" Paul asked.

"Spider." Brian did his best to keep a straight face.

"**DON'T FUCK WITH ME! WHERE IS IT?" **Paul yelled.

"It's on the floor now."

"Oh fucking hell! _**BAD!"**_

Brian and Kim burst out laughing as Paul jumped on the couch, smacking his head against the wall in the process. The situation was just too funny not to laugh.

Lana came back in through the sliding glass door, carrying Danny, who had managed to slip outside. "What the hell is going on here?"

Brian tried in vain to catch his breath as Kim laughed even harder. "I told Paul there was a spider on the floor…..and he jumped like a hundred feet in the air…landed on the couch and hit his head on the wall!"

"You two really need a new hobby," Lana shook her head, then turned to Paul. "Are you all right?"

"I'll live," he replied, glaring at Brian.

"You were supposed to be watching the baby," she reminded Paul. "He got out again."

"My fault," Brian spoke up. "I forgot to close the sliding door."

"Dumb ass," Kim said, smacking him.

"Well, just be a little more careful next time," Lana nodded. "Fortunately, Danny didn't get too far before I could catch him."

"By the way, there wasn't a spider," Brian added.

"The next time we're on the road, you realize I'm going to slit your throat in your sleep, right?" Paul warned.

"Paul!" Lana cried.

"Serves him right after pulling that little stunt."

"That's a very common threat I get from a Mexican," Brian grinned.

"I'd tell you to go get us all something for dinner, but I'm scared of what you might put in it," Lana said.

"Everyone else's will remain intact. However, I'd put rat poison in _Brian's."_

"Never mind. Kim and I will go get something, since you can't be trusted. Especially when you thought it would be hilarious to put hot chili powder in her latte."

"I still owe your husband's ass for that one," Kim nodded.

"And I hope his life insurance is paid up because I'm still going to slit _your_ husband's throat after that fucking spider stunt he just pulled," Paul replied.

"You're hopeless," Lana said, shaking her head.

"Besides, it would have been only a daddy longlegs," Kim giggled. "They don't eat much."

"Let's go, Kim," Lana sighed. "Can we trust you two to stay with Danny for about fifteen minutes and not kill each other in the process?"

"Danny will be fine," Paul replied. "Can't guarantee the same about Spanky, though."

"Just make sure the glass door is closed this time," Lana said, rolling her eyes before she and Kim left. "And no more jokes about spiders or anything else."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Where's Paul?" Lana asked a few days later when she brought Danny from his checkup at the pediatrician.

"In the closet," Kim said.

"What's he doing in there?"

"**I am not coming out until they find that fucking spider!" **Paul bellowed from inside the closet.

Lana sighed. "Are you two at this _again? _Didn't I tell you no more jokes about that? You know how he hates spiders."

"We're serious this time, Red," Brian spoke up. "I just saw one crawling around one of the walls a bit ago."

"And of course, Mr. Big Mouth here had to mention it and PL's been in the closet ever since."

"Wait, why do _I_ always get blamed for shit?" Brian asked. "You're the one that asked what was going up the wall, Kimberly."

"Which you replied, '**OH MY GOD, IS THAT A SPIDER?**' that sent Paul on a beeline to the closet."

"Did you find it yet?" Lana wondered, putting Danny in his playpen.

"Still looking," Brian replied. "Kim, you see the thing yet?"

"Nothing."

"Well, I hope _someone_ finds the damn thing, because I have to piss," Paul complained from the closet.

"Look, if it isn't around, just come out already," Lana sighed in disgust.

"No way. I'll piss my pants and sleep in this closet if I have to until someone kills that fucker. And it better not go near Danny."

"Rest assured if it goes near the baby, it will have to deal with _me_," Lana replied. "Of course, I don't think he'll scream as loud as you do."

"Thanks a lot, woman; you really brought up my confidence level."

Lana rolled her eyes. "Any luck finding the killer spider?" she asked Kim and Brian.

"Last time I saw it, it was in the bathroom," Brian called.

"**GET IT OUT OF THERE, SPANKY!" **Paul yelled.

"Dude, I would if I could find it. I think it escaped again."

A groan came from the closet.

"Calm down, darling, I'm sure we can find it," Lana said.

"It probably saw Brian and crawled in a crack somewhere," Kim deadpanned.

"This is no time to be funny, Kimbo," Paul growled.

"Wait!" Lana called from the living room before the others heard a thump.

"What the hell…" Brian began.

"I think I killed it," Lana said, showing the others what remained of the offensive object on the bottom of her shoe.

"Whoa," Brian grinned, "Lana London, Spider Hunter. Good going there, Red."

"Okay, Paul, the big scary spider is gone. You can come out now," Lana called.

"I'm glad you all had a laugh at my expense," Paul grunted, coming out of the closet.

"Toughest dude I know and he's squeamish about dentists and spiders. Who'd thought it?" Brian asked, watching his best friend head to the bathroom.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Wow, what happened to you guys?" Kim asked.

"Let's just say the dentist appointment from hell and be done with it," Brian replied.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Trust us, you wouldn't believe it unless you were actually there," Lana sighed.

"Took _four hours _for fuck-o over there to get _one_ filling because he wouldn't stop moving, stalling and jumping straight out of the chair," Brian added, indicating Paul.

"It was a great time for all," Lana said. "Not."

"You can't be serious," Kim replied. "I thought maybe you all went somewhere afterwards since Lana and PL didn't have Danny. He's taking a nap, by the way."

"I'm telling you, Kim, you had to be there. He jumped straight up, ran halfway across the room and screamed like a girl," Brian said, beginning to laugh.

"Even the seven year old they had in the room next door didn't make as much of a fuss," Lana added.

"I'm glad you two are having fun at my expense," Paul snorted.

"Oh, for crying out loud," Lana said. "Perhaps if you hadn't made such a scene, it wouldn't have been so funny."

"Not to mention we wouldn't be stuck there for an eternity," Brian added. "I had to rub his shoulders and make him look at me while Red played with his hair. Took four hours, but mission was finally accomplished."

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" Paul asked.

"Try having a baby sometime," Lana shot back.

"Wait a minute," Kim replied skeptically, "we can't possibly be discussing the same Paul; the big tough guy that would kill anyone that even as much as looked at Lana or Danny the wrong way and punched out some asshole at a bar for calling _you_ a fag."

"Trust me, we are, Kimberly," Brian snickered. "If they still had the Hardcore title around all it would take is someone coming at PL with a dentist drill or a spider and he'd lose it right off."

"Very fucking funny, Spanky," Paul said, glaring.

"Look at it this way, it will make one hell of a story to tell Danny and your grandkids," Brian grinned.

"You know the fact that I will slit your throat in your sleep still stands, right?"

"Yeah, yeah; again, common threat I get from a Mexican."

Lana sighed. "Toughest man that I know in the universe and dentists and spiders freak him out."

"Oh, that's just the tip of the iceberg, Red. Hey, did I ever tell you or Kim about the time he was at the waxing salon?"

"**SPANKY!" **Paul yelled.

"Do I really want to hear about this?" Lana wondered.

"Something tells me we might," Kim grinned.

"You _don't_," Paul spoke up.

Brian ignored him. "Anyway, he has to get waxed once every two months, as we all know, especially when it's his pubes."

"_Brian!" _Lana cried.

"I'm warning you, dude; stop right there," Paul said.

"So the last time he went in, to I had to hold his hand with one hand, cover his eyes with the other so he didn't it, with three people in there, his junk all hanging out, and then the most HIGH PITCHED SCREAM you'd ever hear came out of his mouth. You'd think he was getting murdered."

"No thanks; my eyebrow waxing is bad enough," Kim said with a shudder.

"Have somebody wax _your _balls and see how you get through it, Spanky," Paul grunted.

"I shave mine but Paul's too pussy and hates doing it. I'd volunteer to do it, but he's so scared I'm going to hack his dick off with a razor. And I don't think he'd let Red near it either unless it was for—"

"Stop right there, mister!" Lana cried.

"And it's not my dick, it's kind of my..._boys_…" Paul coughed.

"You can shave those. I or Red could just help you with the other parts," Brian grinned.

"Right, like I don't see enough of his or Danny's 'equipment' as it is," Lana said.

"You weren't complaining about _that_ last night, woman," Paul shot back, finally grinning. "As a matter of fact, I think you screamed my name about five or six times the whole time. Maybe more. I'm surprised it didn't wake up Danny."

"For God's sake, Paul!" Lana exclaimed, blushing.

"Whoa, dude, TMI," Kim said, making a face.

"Speaking of which, PL, I think Kimberly's record is about ten or fifteen times in that department with me," Brian laughed.

"God damn you, Brian David!" Kim yelled.

"But who's counting?" Brian asked, cheesy grin in place.

"Did I _really_ need to know that?" Lana wondered.

"I sure as hell didn't," Paul replied.

"Hey, _you're_ the one that brought up your wife screaming your name during sex, fuckhead" Brian reminded him.

"Uh, yeah, I was thinking this was becoming a bit too graphic," Kim added. "I don't think anyone wants to hear about our sex life to begin with."

"Considering I've heard the guy have sex enough before you two got together to know what I need to know anyway, you have a point, Kimbo," Paul replied.

"Shit. Before either of us got married, I'd gotten more ass then Paul," Brian said.

"Gee, Brian, flattering yourself much?" Kim asked.

"I haven't heard _you_ bitch yet in that department, have I? As a matter of fact, you walk funny the next morning."

"Okay, I do not need that vision!" Paul cried.

"Besides, we know Paul's more of a gentleman anyway," Lana smiled. "He wouldn't even _look _at a woman's behind without asking."

"Aw, thanks, sweetheart, that made me feel a lot better," Paul smiled.

"Because it's true," she smiled back. "I couldn't have asked for a better man, even if spiders, waxing and the dentist make you skittish. After all, everyone has their quirks."

"We do," he grinned wider. "And by the way, you still have a great ass."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"I think Kim hates me," Brian said.

Lana looked up with a look of shock on her face. "That's ridiculous. How on earth could anyone hate _you_, especially Kim?"

"Well, for starters, I asked her why the kitchen was dirty, and her response? 'Because you haven't cleaned it yet.' EXCUSE ME, I'm the one who hasn't even been in the damn house for the past _two and a half weeks_."

"Maybe she's just tired today. It doesn't mean she hates you."

"From what? She only works two days a week."

"She's probably PMSing," Paul laughed.

Lana glared at him. "Did I ask for anything from the peanut gallery? Go check Danny; he probably needs changed anyway."

"Oh goody, another shitty diaper. The highlight of my day."

"Speaking of grouchy people," Lana replied. "Now, where were we, Brian?"

"I don't know what Kimberly's problem is; I wouldn't mind her right now if I was getting laid but I haven't since I got home and **THAT IS NOT HOW I WORK**. For fuck's sake, I've gotten more action from _Paul."_

"You have not, Spanky!" Paul yelled from the other room. "Jesus."

"Have you even talked to her?" Lana suggested. "I know Kim's had some problems in the past with depression. Maybe that's it."

"What does she have to be depressed about? She only has to work two days a week, I take care of everything else, we got a decent place to live, she's got nooky for the taking when I'm home, that is, when she's not parked on the couch sleeping. Hell, she's only kissed me once and that was when she got me at the airport. Do I have cooties or something?"

"No, you don't have cooties," Lana reassured him. "To be honest, I don't think you're the problem at all."

"Thanks, Red. I even had to flip the couch earlier to get Kimberly's ass off of it."

"You know, that isn't going to score you any points."

"Well, it was _my_ six hundred bucks, she was sleeping on it, so I pushed it over. Lazy bitch just went right to sleep on the floor."

"Sounds like depression all right."

"Well, whatever it is, I hope she snaps out of it soon. Last night it was a 'headache'; tonight she'll be 'tired' or 'not feel good.' Fuck it, if she's not putting out tonight, she's getting out and she can spend the night on the couch."

"So if she's not sucking, you're not bunking?" Paul asked, coming out with Danny.

"**PAUL MICHAEL!" **Lana cried.

"What? I just asked a simple question. Do all you chicks get crabby at the same time?"

"Don't push it, mister, or you'll see for yourself what crabby really is."

"Anyway, what's for dinner?"

"Take out. I'm tired and it's hot."

"Wow, I got that same response from Kimberly," Brian said. "Blech."

"You can't just make something quick?" Paul asked.

"I already spent all day booking your flights and hotels, arranging your schedule, getting this house cleaned up, and chasing after your son while you slept half the day," Lana replied, taking Danny from him.

"I can't help traveling has me all weird with my sleeping. And having Dan yell at times doesn't help much."

"He's seventeen months old; he can't exactly schedule his yelling around you yet."

"Red's done a lot more than I can say for Kimberly, PL. think I'll take a page out of your book and cook something, make it really spicy so she'll will really have some fire under lit her ass," Brian grinned.

"You're really asking to be a murder victim, aren't you, dude?" Paul laughed.

"Not to mention zero nooky," Lana added.

"So what the hell else has been new the last couple of days?"

"Look, Bri, just sit her down and talk to her. Doing stuff like spice in the food and flipping the couch isn't going to get you anywhere except her mad at you and then you'll _really_ have a problem on your hands," Lana said. "There could be something wrong that has nothing to do with you."

"Yeah, maybe I'll do that and see what bug she has up her ass."

His phone then rang, which he took the call.

"Yeah, I'll be there in about ten minutes," Brian said to the person at the other end of the line before snapping the phone shut.

"Speaking of the Creature From the Black Lagoon," he explained, "she must be over her depression because she wants to go to the mall. Oh, fun."

"Good luck with that," Paul nodded.

"Yeah, she needs me as a pack mule to carry all of her shit, which I'll probably be paying for most of that too. Anyway, I got to go."

"Keep me posted," Lana said. "Maybe I'll give Kim a call later."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Another long ten days overseas, and they finally got to come home for a week. Paul was looking forward to it, being he and Lana hadn't talked much unless she'd been working online, and that was usually to give him hell for being up so late in whatever time zone Paul happened to be in at the time.

Lana had given him a wide smile when he'd come in the door the night before; granted, he could be a pain in the ass at times and sometimes she actually welcomed him being gone a few days here and there, but these long tours made her lonely sometimes where even Danny or any of the girls were good company.

Today, though, Danny had been with his grandparents, giving the two of them some time alone.

"So how are you?" Lana asked.

"How do you think? I've been gone ten days and I'm horny as hell," Paul announced. "Last night didn't exactly get completed, if you know what I mean."

"Uh yeah, sorry about that interruption when Danny decided to remind us of his presence and you ended up taking a cold shower."

"We can always have a second attempt."

"Oh yeah, I've been cleaning, I haven't had a shower today, and I look like death warmed over. Not exactly sexy if I say so myself."

"You are absolutely beautiful," he smiled before he kissed her neck, pressing his engorged crotch against her.

"Oooh," Lana teased, "I don't think that's your cell phone this time."

"It's something I've been saving for you for ten days, baby," he growled in her ear.

"You've actually held out that long?"

"Mmmm hmmm," he moaned, kissing her again. "Do you want to have some fun while the kid is with his grandparents?"

"Let me show you," she smiled, pulling away from Paul, kneeling on the floor in front of him, unzipping his pants and freeing his aching member.

Paul's eyes were now closed. She wrapped her mouth around the head before sliding her mouth down his shaft, wrapping her hand around the base of his cock and stroked it upward as she brought her mouth down to meet it.

Lana stopped stroking the base of his shaft and slid her mouth down his full length, her lips trembled against the base.

It hadn't taken long for Paul to shoot his pent-up load.

His eyes opened suddenly, realizing what happened.

"God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen...I guess I got too excited."

She had come up, cutting him off with a kiss. "I loved it. I loved doing that to you."

"Then I think there's something else you may like," he said, smiling.

He then lay her on the couch, pulling off her pants and thong, spreading her legs, revealing a trimmed mound that had a light red fuzz.

Paul dove his head between her legs, his tongue finding her sensitive parts and sliding it in and around her pussy as Lana began to moan softly.

He began to tongue fuck her for a few moments before coming back up to tease her clit with the tip, licking round and round her pussy before nibbling on her lips and then flicking her clit again.

Within moments, she began to cum before he made her turn over.

His tongue went to work on her pussy once again; it had been so long since he'd gone down on his wife, and he loved it.

When she had climaxed a second time, Paul couldn't take it anymore; rock hard again, he had to fuck her.

His hands still on her ass, he moved forward to mount her from behind.

She felt his cock press into her carefully. Lana was overwhelmed on how much he had stretched and was slowly filling her, moaning in pleasure.

He was about a third of the way in when she pushed back on his cock, taking more in.

With Lana pushing back, Paul pushed further until he was totally buried inside of her, and he started fucking her slowly.

Paul picked up the pace as she begged for it and it hadn't been long before she'd cum.

Once she'd climaxed, he pulled out and turned her over, facing him.

By this time, they had been going at it for over twenty minutes and he hadn't even cum yet.

He clenched his ass as his cock disappeared into her cunt again and he bent down to kiss her before grabbing her ankles and picking up his thrusts.

Hearing and feeling her orgasm, Paul pounded her pussy with fury.

More hard thrusts followed as Lana cried out what a great fuck Paul was, how good his cock felt inside her, and how no man ever made her cum the way he did.

Paul could feel the muscles of Lana's pussy squeeze his cock, triggering his own orgasm. He felt cum shoot into her as they both cried out together.

When they finished, he collapsed beside her, their tongues entwined as they kissed and caressed each other.

"I have first dibs on the shower," she giggled, feeling satiated.

"Bullshit. Shower together, save water."

"Right, and knowing you, by the time we come out, you'll be ready for round two."

"And you're complaining?"

"Oh, hell no! But the first one to the bathroom wins and gets to be top person the next round!"

"Always knew you were a kinky little shit," he laughed before they raced to the bathroom.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Kim had been at work; Lana and Danny were out with Cricket a few days later when Brian came over to hang out.

Upon spying him, Paul volunteered to get a cross and the holy water.

"Very funny, dude," he said. "But there's no need for it anymore. I've put away the forks."

"Oh? Since when? You were like a bear with a sore ass the last two weeks. Why the change?"

"Let's just say this much," Brian grinned. "The doctor who prescribed Kimberly those happy pills should either be a candidate for sainthood or given some kind of medal."

"That good, huh?" Paul raised an eyebrow.

"Damn phenomenal. It's like I got the old Kim back, only a free upgrade to go with it. The house is so clean you can eat off the floors when it isn't smelling like a restaurant because she's creating some kind of awesome meal, I got clean, _folded _clothes coming out of my ass when I come home, she packs my stuff before I have to leave without me asking, and the best part is she's gone from making excuses not to put out to practically raping me when I come in the door."

"Hate to be the bearer of bad news, Spanky, but one can't rape the willing."

"Oh, you're just full of a million of them today, aren't you? I guess I don't have to ask if _you_ got lucky."

"Ever since Danny's been at my _mami_ and _papi's_ the last couple of days? It's been like before Lana got pregnant, not stopping at one time. Hell, _she's_ been wearing _me_ out, if you can believe it."

"Next Red will want you to do her in every room. Kind of like Kimberly the last couple of days."

"Okay, that is not a vision I need to have, dumb ass."

"Don't knock it till you tried it, dude. I know you're a kinky one anyway. Kid's gone for another couple of days; why not put a little more excitement into it?" He then looked at the table. "Then again, your fat ass might break the table, so the dining room is out."

"Very funny, Spanky. Now who's full of a bunch of them?"

"Hey, better to bone Red on the kitchen counter than beat off to big girl lesbian porn like you used to before you met her."

"Whoa, did you and Kim….Jesus Christ! Remind me not to come over to your house for dinner from now on unless it's take out."

"Then you won't want to park your ass at the table of the awesome dining room set she picked out and I paid for either."

"Enough, Spanky. Jesus."

"I'm telling you, you should try it sometimes while your parents have the kid. The pool table might be a good start."

"Yeah, I paid five hundred bucks for a pool table to screw my wife on it. Dude, that's why they made beds and couches, and in some cases, the floor and showers."

"What? It's a lot sturdier than your dining room table and will hold your round ass nicely."

"You're a fine one to talk about having a round ass. Remember the mooning incident a few weeks back?"

"Well, yeah, that's what happens when idiot fans do nothing but yell "**HEY, SPANKY!" **from all directions."

"I'll give you kudos, dude; I would never have the balls to do such a thing."

"You if anyone should know by now I have no shame, PL."

"Isn't that the truth."

"So what can we get into while the women are away for awhile? Want to order some porn? That way, you'll be hot and bothered when Red gets back later and you can take her on the pool table."

"Very fucking funny. Actually, I was thinking about either shooting some hoops or going up to the track, not an easy thing to do with a seventeen month old underneath you otherwise. You in?"

"What the hell," Brian grinned. "That might be the thing I need to get psyched up in case Kimberly tries to attack me again tonight."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Lana had been home working on the household budget and paying the usual stack of bills, all the while keeping one eye on Danny, who was doing his usual exploring.

The guys were right outside goofing off as always and putting together the new grill; Lana letting a chuckle slip now and then and thinking how nice it was to see them let loose now and again while they were home.

At one point, she had seen Danny slip through the sliding door, which one of the guys had left open again. Lana had yelled out to Paul to watch Danny; he was outside.

"_Sabes que, _we're right here, not in Siberia!" he called.

"Just warning you," Lana replied.

She then went back to the task at hand, hearing noises of laughing, chatting and a curse word here and there.

"Watch the language; your son's out there," she warned at one point.

"Damn, PL, what's up with Red, haven't you given her any the last couple of nights?" Brian asked, looking towards the door.

"Not that it's any of your business, but she's gotten more than her share," Paul replied. "She gets a little nuts when it comes to Dan here. I guess it's a _mami_ thing."

"_Mami," _Danny repeated.

"Sorry, little dude, unless she's gotten funny looking, she's in the house," Brian grinned down at him.

"Fuck!" Paul yelled, then sucked on his finger.

"Fuk," Danny repeated.

"Uh, PL? Not to tell you how to raise your kid or anything, but you might want to watch that. Danny's at that age now where he's picking up stuff and it sounds like he just dropped the F bomb."

"He says all kinds of stuff that sounds like something else," Paul replied, getting back to work.

"Fuk," Danny repeated.

"Danny, that's a bad word," Paul said, a little flustered. "That's not nice to say around your _papi _and especially your _mami_."

"Fuk," Danny repeated, grinning.

"Something tells me you're really going to be in the doghouse if he comes off with that in front of Red."

"You're not helping here, Spanky."

"I think we better put him back inside before he gets you in any trouble."

"Come to think of it, that may not be a bad idea. There's some small parts to this thing and I don't want my ass in a sling because Dan choked on something."

Guided toward the door, Danny waddled back into the house with a wide grin when he spotted his mother.

"Well, that was a short adventure, little man," Lana smiled down at him, stroking his dark head. "Did you wear _Papi_ out already?"

"_Papi," _Danny said. "Fuk."

Lana froze for a moment. "Young man, did you say what I thought you did?"

"Fuk," Danny repeated, smiling up at his mother.

"**PAUL MICHAEL!" **she yelled at the top of her lungs.

"What?" he called back.

"Uh oh, dude," Brian said outside. "There's only one time when Red uses your name like that, and that's when you're in deep shit about something."

"I think I know that by now. Question is, what bug does she have up her ass this time?" Paul sighed when both of them went inside.

"So what's the problem?" he asked Lana.

"Your son saying the 'F' word," she glared at him.

Brian cleared his throat. "I just remembered, I got to call Kim and tell her I'm here when she gets off work. I'll be right back."

Paul went white. "I swear to Christ, Lana, it just slipped out while I was putting the new grill together and he must have picked it up."

"Have I not told you two to watch your language around Danny? Now you need to figure out a way to make him _unlearn_ that word."

"I'll try my best," he sighed.

"Well, you better work harder than your best in this case," she said, giving him a look. "He's supposed to be with your parents this weekend when you and I go up to Baltimore for the PPV. The last thing we need is Danny to slip that God awful word out in front of them."

"Like I said, I'll work with him."

"Good," Lana nodded. "No time like the present."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Sorry I wasn't very much fun at the PPV, " Lana apologized. She had suddenly become slightly ill on Friday afternoon before their flight, but had shook it off as nerves.

As the weekend progressed, however, Lana had been outright sick and had spent it in bed at the hotel instead of the arena where her husband had been on the card that Sunday night. And she had felt guilty since.

"Don't worry about it," Paul said. "You didn't ask to get whatever bug you have. You probably caught some kind of thing off Danny. It happens."

"Yeah, but talk about shitty timing."

"My parents said they could keep Dan for a few more days; you just keep your ass in bed and rest up. No excuses. I'm having Kimbo come over while Spank and I head to the gym. I don't want you here by yourself like that."

"Is that really necessary?" Lana asked.

"Considering the present circumstances, yes. Besides, what can happen in two hours?"

"Not much, I suppose."

"Good, keep your ass in bed unless you have to piss or something."

"Wow, that came out romantic," she replied, laughing a little.

"And I'll take care of that part when I get back," Paul said with a sly grin.

"I wouldn't count on it. I'll just puke on you."

"Anyway, I'll be back later. Again, keep your ass in bed."

"Yes, dear," Lana said before pulling the covers up over herself, grateful for the quiet and rest being offered to her.

_Later:_

Kim had let herself in with the spare key she'd gotten off of Paul when he asked her to come stay with Lana while he and Brian were out. She called out softly before finding Lana in the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "You were told to stay in bed!"

"I felt sick again," Lana responded. "I'm a little weak and there's some pain too."

"What pain?" Kim asked, very concerned. "Where?"

"In this part," Lana gestured toward her right side. "It was just a dull ache all weekend and I thought nothing of it. But now it's really hurting."

Kim shook her head. "I'm taking you to the hospital," she said determinedly. "There's something more wrong than just some bug you got from the baby."

"Really, Kim, it isn't that—"

"Don't start. I have your shoes; put them on. I can call the guys when we get there and tell them what's going on."

"I'm sure it's nothing serious," Lana protested.

Kim was hearing none of it. "Or it _can _be something serious. If it is what I am thinking, it could even kill you. And none of us are going to let you go that easily."

Lana sighed. "All right, but if we end up looking foolish, it's on _you."_

"Come on, let me help you to the car. I'll call the guys after we get there."

_About a half hour afterward:_

"Jesus Christ, Paul, pick up!" Kim muttered under her breath outside of the ER, anxious that he hadn't answered the phone. Not long after, the voice mail picked up.

Shit, she thought before leaving a message for him to call her as soon as he got the message and it was urgent.

"Well, let's see if my dipshit husband will answer _his_ phone," Kim sighed, dialing Brian's number.

One thing about it; the guys were like Mormons, always the two of them. With that in mind, she figured Paul wouldn't have gone too far.

"What do you want, Kimberly?" Brian answered, making it obvious he's looked at the Caller ID.

"Thank Christ one of you answered! Is Paul close by?"

"Yeah, he just showered and getting dressed. _Why?"_

"I'm at the hospital with Lana in the ER. I needed to let him know."

"_What? _Whoa, wait! What the hell happened?"

"When I came over, she was all but collapsed in the bathroom. Something about her being sick again, feeling weak, and a pain in her right side that was getting worse. So I brought her here. I know I overreacted, but—"

"Overreacted, my ass. Kim, sounds like her appendix is either about to give out or already did. You did the smart thing, babe."

"Will you please tell PL when he's done? They won't tell me anything since I'm not a relative."

"We're heading straight up there once we leave. Don't go anywhere."

"Yeah, like I sure as hell have somewhere else to go. I'll be waiting."

Kim snapped the phone shut and went back inside to wait, not that anyone would tell her anything, but she wanted to be here for her best friend anyway, at least until the guys showed up.

_At the gym:_

"_What!" _Paul exclaimed when Brian passed the message.

"They're at the ER now," Brian nodded.

"Did Kimbo say what was going on?"

"Nobody will say anything to her because she isn't a relative, which means your happy ass should be there. But from what Kimberly told me about how she found Red, it could be her appendix. We need to head up PDQ."

"Well, shit, what the hell are we waiting for?"

"Exactly my point. Let's go."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"So what the hell happened?" Kim asked.

"Well, Spanky called this one," Paul replied. "Lana does indeed have appendicitis. She had to have emergency surgery."

"Yeah," Brian agreed. "Dumb ass here is actually so used to pain, his actually had to EXPLODE before he did anything about it."

"Good grief," Kim said, shocked.

"That's the problem with this business, you get so used to pain that when you get a little stomach cramp, you think nothing of it."

"Right," Paul nodded, "Little stomach cramp and a week later, woke up feeling like I had to puke with the stomachache from all hell. I puked out blood, called the hospital and found out my appendix had exploded. I had to miss my ROH Championship match to go get my appendix taken out, was off the shelf for three months. I went crazy."

"And what do you know? You lived to tell about it," Kim responded.

"Considering it was leaking poison all over my intestines, you can say so."

"Anyway, how is Red?" Brian wondered.

"She's resting for now," Paul said, sighing. "Her appendix _didn't _explode, thank God, given other circumstances."

"Wait, what do you mean 'other circumstances'?" Kim asked.

"Lana's about four weeks pregnant."

"Holy shit, dude, you didn't waste any time, did you?" Brian grinned. "You two are going to have your hands full, especially with Danny not even being potty trained yet."

"I thought she was on pills," Kim said slowly.

Paul cleared his throat. "Well…..I have to admit we were both careless after that ten days I spent overseas."

"Didn't pull out in time again, huh, PL?" Brian laughed before Kim smacked his head.

"Ow! What?" he asked her.

"There's a sick woman down the hall about to have a second child and you're making jokes."

"Just pointing out the obvious."

"Anyway," Paul continued, "my parents are going away for a few days starting tomorrow and I was wondering if you guys could help me out with Danny while Lana's recovering."

Kim nodded eagerly, smiling. "Consider it done."

"I'll bring a leash," Brian offered before Kim smacked him again. "Will you cut that out?" he cried.

"This is your godson, not a pet," Kim replied.

"Spank's got a point," Paul chuckled. "Dan's a pretty active kid and hard to keep track of. A leash might not be a bad idea."

"You two are ridiculous," Kim shook her head. "I can't believe you're talking about that sweet little boy that way."

"I'm bagging on you, Kimbo. Actually, when it comes down to the bare bones, I'd be concerned if he _wasn't_ running around trying to get into things."

"Of course," she answered. "Right now, however, now that we all know Lana is resting, we can go get some coffee or something and then check back with her later."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Sorry for wrecking your time off," Lana sighed when she had come home a few days later. "It's not like you get a whole lot of it to begin with."

"Like you asked to get appendicitis," Paul replied, shaking his head.

"I'm guessing you already know about me being pregnant," she said solemnly.

"Yeah, they told me when you were brought into the hospital and all those tests were done. And don't worry; according to the doctor, the baby should be okay since they got to the appendix thing in time."

Lana sat up on the couch. "And you're all right with this? I know we wanted to wait until Danny was a bit older, but—"

He stopped her. "Of course I'm okay with it. You always said Dan should have one brother or sister anyway, being you were an only child."

"Sure, but I was hoping to have him toilet trained first," she chuckled.

"Well, we still have at least eight months yet. You know I'm already getting shit from Spanky about this."

"I'd been shocked if he _hadn't _been heckling you. He nearly ribbed you to death when I was having Danny."

"Yeah, all it's been since we found out you were pregnant was 'Damn, PL, the way you and Red go at each other, you'll have your own basketball team or be father of your very own country.' Jesus. _Two kids _make a small country or a basketball team?"

"You and I both know Brian tends to exaggerate sometimes," Lana smiled. "Speaking of which, when is Kim supposed to be here with Danny?"

"Any time now, but you're going to be resting, _mami."_

"But I should—"

"No buts. I'll look after him the rest of the time until I have to leave again, and then I'll take him to my pops' house. They're already excited about seeing Dan again."

"Hell of a way to spend your time off," Lana responded.

"Hey, I need quality time with the Danster anyway."

"Right, but I better not even see or hear about you putting Danny in the closet and throwing ice at him."

"Come on, Lana, I was joking around about that."

"I know. On a serious note, when it comes down to the brass tacks, between you, your parents, Brian and Kim, Danny's going to be spoiled silly as it is; I can almost imagine what it's going to be like when this baby comes."

"What else are they for?" Paul grinned. "_Sabes que, _their_ mami_ raises them for the first fifteen years, and then I can teach them basketball and how to drive."

Lana broke out laughing, causing her side to hurt a little, but she didn't care. "Ha! In your dreams, mister! And how can you be sure this one will be a boy too?"

"Girls can play basketball," he said with a mock sulk.

"I suppose so."

"_Mami_ can do the girly stuff with her and her _papi_ can teach her sports stuff. She'll be well rounded." He then caught himself. "Provided we have a girl, of course."

"Well, it will be either one or the other, Paul."

"I guess so, unless you're having an alien. Then you can get on the front page of all those tabloid rags; 'Woman gives birth to alien baby.' You'll be famous."

"Very funny."

There was a knock on the door. "That's probably Kim now with Danny. I'll be back in a minute."

This should be a blast, Lana thought, with Danny being with those two all day, it will take forever to settle him down tonight. She lay back on the couch, chuckling at the thought of Paul handling Danny for a few hours before the boy had to be in bed. It would be quality time, all right.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"I'm telling you, it was a misunderstanding," Paul complained to Kim several weeks later. "It's not bad enough Lana won't say two words to me, now she's talking _divorce?"_

"_What?"_ Kim asked in total shock. "Oh no; she's got to be either kidding or out of her mind."

I took care of her when she had her appendix out, put up with her moods, realizing she's pregnant, but I stay out late one time and she throws my ass to the curb. She can't do this….can she?"

"Okay, I know you and Bri hung out with a few of the divas after the show the other night," Kim replied. "But what exactly happened? I want to get a better grip on this."

"Well, you know the thing in San Antonio, right?"

"Of course, dumbass; I was there with Brian, remember? Anyway, go on."

"So a bunch of the girls wanted to hang out with us, considering you're always cool about it and Lana never had a problem with it before. Come on; it's girls we work with. So we were all kind of out late, and there were a couple of fan girls—"

"Yeah, Brian explained that part too. He's lucky that I trust him or he'd been neutered by now."

"Right. So these girls, they were kind of in their early twenties, at least that is my guess, and kind of 'built,' putting it mildly. So it was us, a few divas, and these girls, and well…..I lost track of time and forgot to call Lana."

"Oh for God's sake, Paul," Kim sighed. "No wonder she's pissed."

"That's just the tip of the iceberg," Paul groaned. "The one chick decided to park her ass in my lap, and just as I was trying to get her off, fucking Denise happened to walk into the bar. You know how close she and Lana are. Anyway, I'm guessing she was the one who went to Lana about all this, and of all nights for me to forget my house key. Next thing I know, I was locked out, two suitcases on the curb with a note to get lost and Lana wanting a divorce. And here I am, crashing on yours and Midget's couch since."

Kim shook her head. "You know, it may have looked like a whole different scenario to Denise, but I'm seeing it for what it is. Paul, I know you better than that. You love that woman and Danny way too much to do something that stupid."

"Yeah, someone should tell her that. I bet as we speak now, Lana's probably talking to some lawyer screaming adultery and planning to take me for everything but my balls."

"I doubt that. She's probably going through all these emotions right now with being pregnant, just like she did when she carried Danny."

"She didn't threaten divorce and throw my ass out when she was pregnant then," Paul responded.

"Would it help if someone else talked to her? You know, she could have calmed down a bit by now," Kim offered.

"If you're thinking of sending your goofier looking half for the job, forget it. Lana will just say he's taking _my_ side and won't listen."

"Actually, I was thinking _I _would make the attempt. Somebody's got to take one for the team."

"Come to think of it, she usually _does _listen to you."

"I certainly hope so; she's been my best friend since we started working together with you two clowns. Seriously, though, I think I can get through to her. If nothing else, I can bring Carol along for backup."

"You'd really do that?" Paul asked.

"There are very few wives and girlfriends who _don't _listen to Carol, trust me."

"What the hell; I could use all the help I can get right now."

Kim pulled out her phone. "Then consider it done as we speak, my friend."

_Later that afternoon:_

"I don't why either of you are here," Lana shook her head. "I've made up my mind three nights ago."

"Don't you think you're jumping to conclusions before you get the whole story?" Carol asked gently.

"Denise told me everything I need to know. That and I didn't even get the courtesy of a telephone call that my soon to be ex-husband was running late, that is, _before_ I knew he'd had some floozy on his lap!"

"That's just it, Lana. What Dee didn't tell you that Paul all but was trying to get that 'floozy' _off _his lap when Dee herself had walked in."

"What?"

Kim nodded. "That's right. Lana, how long have you two known each other? Yes, there have been men in this business that are professional cheats, but this is a man that all but worships the ground you and that little boy of yours walk on. Yes, it's his instinct that if a girl flirts, he flirts back; but it means nothing. _You're _the one he loves, the one he always comes home to."

"The opportunity to stray is always there, Lana," Carol added. "But I can tell you firsthand you have one of a very rare few husbands that doesn't."

"You have a second child on the way to think about too," Kim softly pointed out. "Don't do anything rash over a simple misunderstanding. Lana, at least talk to him."

Lana gave a snort. "Why should I? He's got plenty of _Playboy_ bunnies and hot fan girls with big boobs galore around to bother with an old beached whale like me that popped out one kid and has a second one coming. So he's free to be with them. I've already talked to a lawyer who says they can get me a good enough settlement to stay home with the kids."

"I can't believe you're really considering this!" Carol gasped.

"I didn't sign any papers yet if that is what you're thinking. I just talked to someone."

"I really think you need to talk to your _husband_ before making any rash decisions. Lana, there's a lot of women in the world that would kill for a man like you have. Don't do anything crazy to throw that away," Kim said.

"If it's any help, he was out of the bar at closing time and came home alone," Carol added. "The next thing I heard, Kim told me you'd thrown him out."

Lana stopped short. "He left _alone? To come home?"_

Kim nodded. "He didn't even have _Brian's_ happy ass with him, and you know those two. They're like freaking Mormons."

Lana sighed. "My God, I really did overreact. Is he still at you guys' place?"

"Yep; Paul's been totally emo and barely left the couch since he's gotten there," Kim replied, smiling. "I'm surprised he and Bri haven't eaten each other alive yet."

"Do you want to talk to him?" Carol wondered.

Lana nodded. "Tell him to call me later; maybe we can arrange something. I think I really need to clear the air."

"And to trust him a little more often," Kim pointed out. "Not all guys are pigs, you know. Pickings may be slim these days, but I think you and I got the best of the crop."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

He knew that she was blue. The lack of expression on her face and in her actions was only a small part of the overall picture. The dejected slope of her shoulders as she sat demurely with her hands in her lap and her head slightly bowed completed the vision of a very sad person. The dozen long stemmed roses that he had brought to her lay forgotten on the table nearby. He kneeled on the floor in front of her.

"I'm sorry, I know you were right. I never should have gone off without calling you to say I'd be late getting back home. And that girl meant nothing, no matter what Dee told you. I've been thinking about you since you locked me out the other night"

With a wan smile she took his face between her hands and kissed him. As she withdrew her lips she could see there was a tear in his eye.

"I love you very much," he said.

Her smile widened as she kissed him again, this time with lips open to invite his tongue. Still kneeling on the floor he greedily accepted her challenge and tasted the sweetness of her mouth. The kiss was long and erotic, their tongues dancing. With a sudden movement he scooped her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.

He laid her down and knelt on the bed beside her, kissing her lips, her face, her neck, her ears. He kissed her again and began to fumble with the buttons on her blouse. She pushed him away and began to undo the buttons herself, so he took off his shirt.

She removed the rest of her clothes and he did the same. In just a few seconds they were both totally nude. She wasn't showing much yet, but he observed how beautiful she was in the early stage of pregnancy.

She couldn't help but notice that his penis was totally erect.

He again knelt down beside her and resumed the exploration of her mouth with his tongue. While he kissed her his right hand was on an exploration trip of its own. It carefully traced a path from her soft smooth stomach up to the wondrous swelling that was her breasts.

He slowly caressed and fondled the satin-like surface until he came to the hard button that was her nipple. Gently, he kissed his way down to suckle on the treasure that his hand had found.

With nothing else to do, his hand continued its downward journey until it found the spot that designated the beginning of her nest of happiness. His hand continued beyond and below this spot and soon he found the dampness that told him he was welcome.

His mouth abandoned the nipple and began to follow the trail blazed by his hand in search of the nectar he knew he would find there. When his tongue encountered her little knot of pleasure she gave an audible gasp and then a contented sigh.

The writhing and thrashing of her body told him that he was close to accomplishing his goal. He continued his administrations until finally with a loud moan she released the thickest and sweetest of her juices. Her body was shaking from the intentness of her passion as he slowly moved up to lay down beside her.

He lay flat on his back and with the smallest of whimpers she turned on her side to nuzzle her face in the crook of his neck. Her hand on his chest began its own journey, in an ever widening circle, first to his breast and then down towards his throbbing manhood. When it encountered his blood gorged member she was surprised by the heat it radiated.

As delicate as a fawn she straddled him and lowered herself onto his erect pole. Slowly and with the grace only a woman possesses she began the up-and-down ride that would lead them both to ecstasy.

With her hands on his chest, eyes closed and her head back she glorified in the feeling that was about to over take her. Soon he was approaching his own climax. his back arched and he pushed his imbedded cock upward to meet her downward thrust.

His hands were out stretched, fondling her breasts, rubbing and lightly pinching the nipples. Slowly she increased the rhythmic cadence until she was plunging up-and-down like someone riding a wild horse.

He could feel the cum originating in his balls and rising in his cock. Unable to control it any longer he could feel it spurting into her, load after load.

It was the trigger she needed and with an animal like cry she began her own climax. He was so sensitive that the slightest movement on her part made him shudder and quiver.

She finally collapsed on top of him and spoke for the first time.

"I love you so much. It was foolish for me to assume you were a cheat, especially after all of this time we'd been married. Will you forgive me for being such a shrew?"

"If this is your idea of having a talk to work things out, hell yes," he laughed, cuddling her. They still had another hour before Kim brought Danny home.

"Hmmm….maybe in that case, maybe we should discuss things further before we have our son to contend with. And then there's going to get your things."

"You mean…." he began.

"Yes. Move your ass back in here."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"**I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL THAT MIDGET!" **Paul yelled two days later during their stay at a hotel in the city where a show was scheduled.

"What is going on?" Lana wondered.

Brian came out howling with laughter, holding up a toy spider.

"Little bastard thought it would be hilarious to put a rubber spider in the bathroom. **RIGHT ON THE FUCKING SINK WITH MY SHAVING STUFF!"**

"Yeah, and for once, you were hairier than the spider."

"The plot still stands to kill your ass, Spanky."

"Brian, really, you need a new hobby," Kim shook her head.

"There was a _real_ one crawling around a few minutes ago too," Brian grinned. "I think it was hunting PL down before it disappeared someplace."

"**IT'S NOT FUNNY, BRIAN! THAT REAL ONE WAS THE SIZE OF A QUARTER AND LOOKED MEAN!" **Paul bellowed.

"I think you're exaggerating," Lana shook her head. "How do you know a spider looks mean?"

"They all do! They're _evil _creatures!"

"Good God. Well, wherever it went, it's probably out in the hallway or whatnot by now," she sighed.

"PL, you know in your lifetime, you will have swallowed at least eight spiders in your sleep?" Brian asked.

Lana gasped. "Don't tell him that!"

"**OH MY GOD, WHAT?! **That's it; I'm never sleeping again!" Paul exclaimed.

"Then again, they're a great source of protein," Lana teased.

"Dammit, woman, shut up!"

"And other bugs too," Brian added. "They all crawl in your tummy, build houses, have babies…."

"Shut up, you midget!"

"I wonder what kind of spiders like crawling into your mouth while you sleep? Probably big mean, deadly ones."

"SHUT UP, SPANKY!!" Paul yelled again.

"You know African cave spiders are really ugly looking. I can show you all a picture. Actual size. They can fit right in your hand."

"Brian, if I were you, I'd quit while I was ahead and body parts were still intact," Kim warned.

"All right, I've committed my evil sin for today," Brian snickered.

"Seriously, go take up another hobby."

"I found a daddy longlegs a few days ago at home," Lana added. "But they don't eat much."

**"AHHH! IT'S LIKE MY WIFE AND MY MIDGET ARE TRYING TO KILL ME. EWWWWWWWWWWWW, I FEEL THINGS CRAWLING ON ME!**" Paul cried, shuddering.

"One crawled on Danny the other day. I think he liked it," Lana said, hiding a grin.

"**DON'T FUCK WITH ME! **You're lucky to be a woman and pregnant, you know that? Otherwise, you would have had a super kick to the face coming."

"For heaven's sake, Paul, I was teasing. I can't believe you'd get bent out of shape over a little spider or two."

"_Little? _Those things were _huge_, both the real one and the rubber one Spanky put on the sink! And as for you, Midget, I'm still going to slit your throat."

"I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you, Brian," Kim added.

"Yes," Paul continued, "Learn to sleep with one eye open. I'll fucking pour fire ants down your throat, stab you in the face with an ice-pick forty-seven times, and then I'll set your bloody body on fire and shoot you in the face before cutting your dick off and feeding it to your cat."

"You're such a sweetie, PL," Brian replied, laughing.

"And I'd make sure Kimbo got all your money too!"

"Gee, Paul, you're really are a generous soul," Kim giggled. "And I just paid on the life insurance too. Imagine that."

"You're a bitch, Kimberly," Brian snorted.

"Love you too, Shortzilla."

Paul then spied something moving out of the corner of his eye. The elusive spider had returned.

**"GOD DAMMIT, IT'S BACK AND HEADED TOWARD DANNY! KEEP IT AWAY FROM HIM!"** he hollered.

"For crying out loud, Paul, just kill the thing. It's not a tarantula." Lana rolled her eyes.

A small thud and then Paul replied, "There...smashed. _With BK's hat."_

"Oh thanks a lot, dude," Brian responded. "You couldn't use a shoe like a normal person?"

"Nothing like spider guts all over your hat," Kim giggled again.

"You know, once you kill ONE, two even bigger ones come to investigate, PL?" Brian asked with a sly grin.

"I despise you."

"No you don't. You can't live without me or Red, and you know it."

"Watch me. I'm going to the next town without any of you."

"Not if I hold you down, rape you and put a spider on your neck. You won't go anywhere."

"_Brian!" _Kim and Lana called in unison.

"On second thought, I'll let Red do the raping."

Paul gave a teasing snort. "Right, like that would be a real threat. I get that done to me nearly every night."

"Oh, really?" Lana retorted laughingly. "If I remember correctly_, you _were the one with Roman hands and Russian fingers the last few nights, among other things I won't get into, so don't even try to play victim with us."

"Yep, that sounds more accurate," Brian agreed. "PL was always a wild boy in that department. And look at the situation poor Red is in now as a result."

"And notice she never complains either. Anyway, before I slit your throat for this spider bullshit, we got a show to do, and we better get to the arena if we don't want to have our asses chewed out. Catch you ladies later."

Lana nodded. "Don't worry; I'll be on spider lookout in the meantime."

"Very funny, sweetheart." Paul snorted before he and Brian went out the door. "Later."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

It was already into a few months when Lana had started to show with her second child. In the interim, Danny had become quite curious about his _mami's _expanding middle, prompting her to explain in a way he could understand that there was a a baby in there, that he was going to be a big brother.

There had been no ill effects to the baby from Lana's bout with appendicitis, the doctor had told her. She was carrying a well-formed, perfectly healthy daughter.

No matter what she was having, she and Paul had discussed stopping at two children. Considering his schedule as well as the economic factor of raising children in the current age, it certainly made sense to her.

Very rarely were large families seen these days, not like those of Lana's friends as she was growing up, longing for siblings of her own. She didn't want Danny to grow up the same way.

_But a girl_. Lana had been ecstatic when she had learned of the baby's sex. She would even have less of a problem stopping at two children now; there would be one of each gender. Perfect.

Just as things couldn't get any better, shortly before his second birthday (which Lana had delayed celebrating until Paul came back from the tour in Mexico in a few days), Danny began showing interest in using the toilet.

"That's where big boys and girls go to the bathroom," she explained to him. "That's a potty."

"Potty," Danny repeated.

"Do you want to try, sweetheart? Do you have to go?"

"Uh huh."

"All right, no time like the present to learn to be a big boy. Then we can tell _Papi_ when he comes home."

It had been a hit or miss situation the first few times over the ensuing days, but Lana began to notice Danny had been wanting to use the potty more and the "accidents" were becoming fewer and farther between. Each time he had used the bathroom, she praised him immensely on what a 'big boy' he was.

Now he rested his head against Lana's swollen belly during a visit from Kim.

"He's using the potty?" she asked.

"Yes, sooner than I thought he even would," Lana replied. "It was kind of a tricky situation at first, but then he wanted to use it more often. I still have those pull up things on him, though, in case he has an accident, but it sure beats diapers any day. I'll have enough of that with this second one." She then laughed. "At least it will be a little girl."

"Yeah, that's a good thing," Kim agreed. "Your poor mother in law; how she managed to surivive _three _wild ass boys is anyone's guess. Then again, I'm still figuring out how my mother in law managed to put up with _Brian_ and his brother. I actually pity my sister in law at times."

"I'm sure if Barb and Shannon survived them, anyone could," Lana chuckled.

"Case in point, here I am," Kim joked, then smiled down at Danny. "So I'm guessing our little man here seems a little happy about the baby."

"To put it mildly, yes. Danny has a thing now where he wants to lift up my shirt to see when the baby comes out. The last time he did it, Paul about had a stroke."

Kim laughed heartily. "Why? It's perfectly innocent."

"Not when the last time was in the middle of Buster's when we all went out to dinner with his father. I thought Paul was going to choke on his dinner."

"Well, come on; Dan's not even two yet, he doesn't know any better."

"Try telling that to _Papi. _Like we all didn't do silly things at that age? I have to admit Danny's grandfather got a good laugh out of it, though."

"I'm sure."

"There's something else different with this baby that I don't recall going through much with Danny."

"Oh? What's that?" Kim wondered.

Lana cleared her throat and blushed a little. "My sex drive."

"Well, that tends to die a little when one is pregnant, so I've heard."

"Actually….it hasn't quite died. Not even _close _to dying, in fact."

"Are you trying to say….." Kim began.

Lana nodded. "It's in high gear, to put in mildly."

"Whoa! Well, that explains why good old PL's been in such a good mood lately!"

"I'm glad you're amused."

"Come on, Lana, enjoy it while you can. If nothing else, once he comes home, you can take Danny to your in laws' place and then you and PL can have an all nighter."

"For the love of God, Kim!"

"Hey, come on; I've read up on this shit. Didn't you screw when you were having Dan?"

Lana gave her a look. "Yes, but not as often."

"So obviously fucking a lot won't hurt the kid. And it will keep a smile on _Papi's_ face while scratching your itch, to say the least."

"You are a sick, sick person." Lana shook her head.

"Well, yeah, look what _I _married. The only thing I'll ever be closest to parenthood is cleaning up hairballs and cat shit. Oh well, at least nobody can say I can't take a joke."

"Indeed." Lana then picked up Danny gently to carry him to his room. "And right now, I think some little man needs his nap. To be honest, it wouldn't hurt for me to have one either."

Kim nodded. "I was about to suggest that. Are we still on for dinner tonight? Last night of total peace before the two savages get back tomorrow, you know."

"Oh yes. By the time I get back up, I'll probably be ravenous. And we can hit the mall afterwards."

"Sounds like a plan! See you later. Enjoy your naps."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

It had been a beautiful afternoon the day after Lana and Kim had gone out to dinner and then shopping. Lana had been working at home; both a window and the sliding glass door had been open enough to let in a breeze, but not enough that Danny could climb out of either.

He was an active little boy now, climbing on things, picking up one thing or another to satisfy his curiosity, and running around, and Lana had all but gotten eyes in the back of her own head to keep watch on him.

Lana had been finishing up her work getting flights and hotels arranged for Paul for the next tour before she had to give Danny a bath and put clean clothes on him when it had gotten quiet a couple of times; she had gone to investigate in both incidents.

One had found Danny playing with a rubber ball in the toilet, the second time in the closet in her and Paul's bedroom, going through some things on the closet floor.

"You are a way too busy and nosy boy today," she said, picking him up. "_Mami_ needs to get you cleaned up; _Papi's_ coming home soon."

Danny gave her a wide grin. "_Papi!"_

"Yes, which means you will really be a handful for the next week or so. I don't know what it is, but every time he or Uncle Brian get hold of you, you become a total wild child," she said, undressing Danny and putting him in the tub once the water was the right temperature. "But I think _Papi_ is also going to be very happy when you tell him you're doing potty."

"Potty," Danny repeated.

"Do you have to use it?"

"No potty."

"All right. Don't even _think _of peeing in that bath water, young man. It's enough that I have to yell at your _papi_ sometimes for peeing in the shower."

Danny patted her middle. "Baby."

"Yes, that's our baby and it's sleeping," Lana said with a smile as she inspected his ears.

"My goodness child, you could grow potatoes back here," she added as he began to fuss a little at the invasion of the washcloth on his ears.

Lana then gently shampooed his dark hair, rinsing carefully to make sure no soap got into his eyes before picking Danny up and drying him with a clean, fluffy towel and dressing him in a new outfit his grandmother had bought him.

"There," she said with a smile. "Now let's go get you a nice snack for being a good boy for your bath."

"Where _Papi?" _Danny asked.

"He's going to be here soon," Lana replied, giving him a snack that wouldn't get his clothes dirty. "And all he's going to do is let you get away with murder anyway."

Lana then heard a gentle tapping on the glass and then Kim call out. "Just me."

"Oh, hi!" Lana called back. "I'm just getting Danny ready before the guys get here. Did you hear from them yet?"

"You mean about Shortzilla setting off the metal detector with the change in his pocket and then listening to him cuss about it? Yeah. They should be here in about ten. Then again, maybe two hours being Paul is driving."

Lana chuckled; Paul's driving was a private joke between them. "Well, in that case, they will at least arrive safely."

"Good point. Don't ask what state was stupid enough to give Brian a license. Every time I go with him anywhere, my life flashes before my eyes."

"Seems I heard the same thing from Paul a few times," Lana replied, handing Danny over to Kim before cleaning up.

"So how are you feeling?"

"I'm doing fine now; everything is good with the baby. No problems."

"I still can't believe you're having a little girl."

"Me neither. To think we are stopping at two kids; what were the odds I would end up having one of each?"

"Honestly. I don't think I could cope in a house full of males," Kim laughed. "One is enough for me."

"Speaking of which," Lana said, hearing noises right outside. "I think the kings have arrived."

"_Papi!" _Danny called out cheerfully, clutching her leg.

"Yes, he's here. I guess this means the end of the son as I know him for at least a week."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"_Papi," _Danny grinned up at his father.

"Yep, that's me," Paul said proudly, picking Danny up. "But the way you act, one would think I'd been gone for a year instead of a couple of days. Is _Mami_ really that mean to you?"

"Hey, it was _your_ idea for me to raise him the first fifteen years," Lana joked. "Someone has to hand out the discipline. Of course, I probably spend more time with that child than anyone, and who does he end up going to? _Papi."_

"I think _Mami's_ jealous," Paul teased back, tickling Danny, who began to giggle.

"Right. Just for that, you have all the fun stuff like chasing him around and cleaning up after him for the next four days. Then again, I don't know if even that is a good idea or not, being you two spoil him silly."

"What else are they for?" Paul asked, giving a goofy grin.

"I'd like to see you saying that when he and your coming daughter are eighteen," Lana chuckled.

"Yeah, right," Brian laughed. "His little girl will be coming in from a date, and there would be good old PL sitting on the front porch, walker in one hand and shotgun in the other."

"Always have to be a smart ass, don't you, Midget?" Paul asked.

"What? You said it yourself, dude; you'd slice the throat of any guy that tried to get into her pants."

"He's right, you know," Kim agreed. "And also said that if it were up to you, she's not dating until she's _thirty."_

"Considering she isn't even born yet, _Papi's_ already making plans," Lana nodded. "But I guess that's the typical protective daddy."

"Damn right," Paul replied. "And she's having a nine o'clock curfew."

"Jesus, what century are you living in, the nineteenth?" Kim wondered. "Even I had a midnight curfew."

"Lucky you," Lana said. "Mine was eleven, and if I was much as five minutes late, Mother gave me a sermon. And speaking of that, I'm not going to be very comfortable if I don't get into the bathroom. Excuse me for a moment."

"Anyway," Paul asked, "how was your job interview, Kimbo?"

"Interesting," Kim responded, "though I think the old coot who interviewed me was a real dumb ass. The one thing he asked was 'Have you ever done phones?' So I said, 'No, every time one rings, I run in circles yelling, **WHAT'LL I DO? WHAT'LL I DO?' **Honest to God; how stupid can one get?"

"I'm guessing you didn't get that job," Brian said.

"Needless to say, no. I think I'm better off where I am. At least they appreciate my humor there."

"They should," he said, "they have to both look at you and listen to your mouth run two days a week. Then again, I got to look at you 24 hours a day when I'm home."

"Why thank you, darling; the feeling's mutual," Kim replied with a grin. "Anyway, my supervisor wants to give me more hours, so that's another reason I am staying."

"Wow, you mean you might get off your ass more than two days a week?"

"For your information, smart shit, she's been considering it for a couple of weeks but didn't tell me before I went on that interview, and yes, I'll be going to four days starting next month since Andrew is leaving."

"Holy shit, miracles never cease to happen."

"Oh shut up. You like having me around and you know it."

Lana had come from the bathroom. "Paul, you left the toilet seat up again," she said.

"For the love of Christ, you don't hear me complaining about _you_ leaving the toilet seat **DOWN**, do you? No, so just put the damn thing down when I leave it up."

"Fine, but when you see your son is playing in it like I have, you'll think differently. You're lucky I have a big ass or I'd fallen into the bowl."

"And what an ass it is," Paul grinned, giving her a playful slap on it.

"Cut that out! And if I see piss on the floor around the toilet because your aim is off, there will be hell to pay. While I'm at it, when the bathroom tissue gets down to one square, try changing the roll. It takes two seconds."

"Don't waste your breath, Lana," Kim interjected. "I think it's a universal thing for men to leave the throne in the up position. And they have no idea how to change the toilet paper roll."

"I know," Lana chuckled. "Don't get me started. But on to better things."

She then smiled down at Danny. "Tell _Papi _what you did while he was away."

"Uh oh," Paul said. "Do I want to hear this?"

"Actually, this is something good. Go ahead, Danny, tell _Papi."_

Danny grinned widely. "Potty. Big boy."

"You mean he is—"

Lana nodded. "Using the potty. And his 'accidents' are getting less and less."

Danny pulled down his pants a little, displaying a Pull Up. "Big boy pants."

"I see that. I guess you're growing up pretty fast, buddy," Paul smiled.

"Next thing you know, he'll be beating off the chicks, PL," Brian nodded.

"Forget it," Lana said. "_He's_ not dating until he's thirty."

"Says who?" Paul asked.

"Says me. If you're going to put down rules for our daughter before she's born, the same will apply to our son even if he's barely potty trained."

"We'll see about that."

"Right. Sorry, mister, but in this country, in case you didn't get the memo, it's equal rights. What's good for Danny will be good for his sister."

"Oh boy," Kim said. "Now I know why we only have a cat."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

"We are doing this again _why?" _Paul asked while they looked at things for the coming baby. "Didn't we just go through this shit when you were having Danny?"

"Yes we did, but the crib Danny has will be converting to a junior bed for him when he gets older, remember? Plus we need things for a little _girl, _and I don't think what your son has will go with that very well."

"We can't go to a thrift shop?"

"Are you _insane? _I don't have anything against those places, but the furniture in them are outdated and could be dangerous. Do you honestly want to find your daughter's head stuck—or worse—because of a crib with outdated features? I didn't go to those places for Danny; I'm not doing it this time either."

"They all look alike to me."

"I'm sure they do, but there's safety things to consider, which is why I have to look things over carefully."

"I don't see why you had to drag my ass when you already know what to get. I could have stood home with Dan instead of him being with Midget and Kimbo."

"It's called quality time, something neither of us get these days."

"Quality time spent looking at baby stuff. Lovely." He rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I have spent what you have described as 'quality time' with your goofy friends more times than I can count, not to mention cleaned up after them just as many times, yet never complained. _One time _shopping for your coming child won't kill you."

"Whatever," Paul groaned.

"Oh, don't be a grouch. Look, this one is cute, and it's fifty percent off."

He perked up. "Huh?"

Lana smiled. "I knew that would get your attention. Go sit down while I talk to one of the sales people."

Please, God, let her make it quick, he thought, looking around and seeing a few stares in his direction.

Jesus, these people act like they never saw a dude in a baby store before.

"I think I found it," Lana exclaimed from the other side after several minutes. "This will be the crib!"

"Thank God," Paul muttered.

"What do you think?" she beamed. "And it's half off!"

"I think the kid will enjoy sleeping, shitting and pissing in it when she doesn't yell from it at two in the morning," he replied.

"Well, that settles it, smart ass," Lana said, smiling. "This is definitely our daughter's new crib."

"Great," Paul said. "Can we go now?"

"Yes," Lana chuckled. "I think you've suffered enough today. You can pick a place for lunch while I arrange to have this delivered."

"Yay, I finally get a say in something."

"And then we're going to pick out some clothes for your daughter."

"Oh no! I already spent all morning going through baby furniture hell; you're on your own with the clothes thing."

"It will only be for an hour."

"Yeah, you said that about the furniture too."

"Just for a little bit," Lana sighed. "Then we will head home."

_Later:_

"So how was the big shopping trip?" Kim asked when Lana and Paul arrived home, carrying some bags.

"We found some furniture," Lana nodded. "And the crib was half off."

"Terrific," Kim replied.

"So was Danny any problem?"

"Not in the least," Brian grinned, and then snickered. "Kim put him down for a nap a bit ago. Although, something tells me that I didn't have nearly as much fun as PL the baby store packmule!"

"One more smart ass comment out of your mouth, Midget, I will rip your head off and have Kimbo use the hole for a planter," Paul growled.

"Wow, he really did have fun," Kim said, making a face and putting both index fingers in the shape of a cross.

"Like I said before, shopping is not a sport; _sabes que, _and I will never ever think it is. She just did this to torture me."

"No, I did it for both the quality time and the fact we didn't pick things out together when I was having Danny," Lana responded.

"Hate to break it to you, Red, but PL's idea of quality time is hours of wild sex," Brian said.

"How well I know, which is why I ended up in my current condition."

"Takes two to tango, sweetheart," Paul retorted. "And you never complained at any time."

"Just go put that stuff in the spare room," Lana sighed. "Maybe if you're a good boy, there will be a nice reward for you tonight."

He perked up. "On second thought, maybe this wasn't so bad. Hope you all are hanging around for dinner, because it's on me!"

Lana gave him a knowing smile. "Now that's the spirit."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"Jesus, it's a good thing we're stopping at two kids; I think it costs as much to pop them out as it does to _raise_ them," Paul complained, looking over a bill.

"Wait until I go into labor," Lana replied. "And then there will be college and their weddings one of these days."

"Don't remind me," he groaned. "You barely got Dan potty trained and the second one isn't coming for another few months yet."

She then looked around. "Your shadow isn't with you today?"

"No, Kimbo dragged his ass to some home show; I don't think I have to tell you how thrilled he was with _that._ She can't go to a store like a normal person to look for a wedding gift for Cricket? Plus she's got to torture Brian in the process."

Lana perked up. "Oh yeah, that's right; the home show is here this week."

"_Don't even,_" Paul warned. "We have enough junk in this place to last three lifetimes, not to mention you already blew a king's ransom on baby stuff."

"Most of this 'junk' is yours anyway," Lana responded. "And the baby furniture wans't that much."

"400 for a baby crib is 'not that much?' Jesus. I don't think Dan's was that expensive."

"Because _your mother_ bought Danny's," she reminded him. "And just like his, this one will turn into a bed when the baby gets old enough to sleep in one. May I also remind you that it was on sale at 50 percent off."

"Good thing. I can furnish a whole room for eight hundred bucks otherwise."

"I'm sure you could."

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Especially a special room for you and me to have some fun."

"Oh yeah? I thought that was the bedroom, or would this be the special room to act out your little sex fantasy?"

Paul froze. "_What?_"

Lana couldn't help it; she started laughing. "A little birdie told me about those. Something about things you wrote down awhile back."

"This 'little birdie' wouldn't happen to be a blond midget with a very big mouth, would it?"

"Maybe," she grinned.

"What in the hell did he tell you exactly? And what brought all this up to begin with?"

She giggled again, going into details. "You are a _very_ dirty minded boy," she added.

"My life is over," Paul groaned.

"Are you forgetting something? I'm your wife; it's really not that big of a deal. We should try them sometime."

"I wrote that shit down before a therapy session a year before I met you," he protested. "And I'm not doing that stuff while you're pregnant."

"Who said anything about _me?_" she teased.

"Very funny. And how does that little shit know I'm still into that stuff anyway?"

"He _knows_ you period," Lana nodded.

"I wish I had something I could snitch on him to his wife," Paul said. "Problem is, the fucker has no shame."

"How well I know, especially when I hear all this kinky stuff about my husband from his best friend."

"You're having a great time with this, aren't you?"

Lana smiled again. "Uhhh huh."

Paul raised an eyebrow. "You know, there are a couple of things we can do tonight that won't be too dangerous, especially with Dan up at Pops'."

"Wow, let me guess. You're bored and horny."

He gave a knowing grin. "You know, being pregnant really suits you."

"Yes, I'm sure there's certain aspects _you_ like about it. It wasn't enough my boobs didn't shrink back down after I had Danny; they're really going to be humongous now."

Paul then came over to grab a breast. "Let's get one thing straight right now; there's no such thing as boobs being too big."

"Sure, you're not the one that has to carry them around."

"No, I just get the fringe benefits of them," he leered.

Lana rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Something tells me I should have married an ass man instead."

"You aren't exactly lacking in that department either, thank God. Guess you're stuck with me for life, baby."

He then picked her up, carrying her toward the bedroom.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

In the bedroom, Lana could feel herself getting a little excited at his attraction to her swollen state. No harm in this, I suppose, she thought. It isn't like we hadn't had sex while I was pregnant before.

She lay back on the bed, letting Paul rub his hands over her belly. He was studying it, appreciating it, and moved slowly to her boobs. She wanted to stop him but it felt too good, and she allowed him to rub them through her clothing.

"Let me see," he asked, transfixed.

"What? You aren't going to see anything you haven't seen before."

"I can never see enough of you, baby."

Lana stood up slowly, as if in a trance. He sat back into a chair slowly, waiting, looking. She pulled her dress over her head, and he got up and helped her. He then undid her bra, and exhaled slowly at the sight of her engorged boobs.

"Oh my God," he said. "Look at those magnificent tits. Look at you. You are sexy."

Paul touched her breasts and then pinched the nipples, softly at first, and then quite hard. He the came to one of her breasts and sucked the nipple, still pinching the other one.

Lana moaned. She could almost reach orgasm this way. She abruptly grabbed his hand and brought it between her legs; that particular spot now seeking attention.

He slid off her underpants, and while still sucking her breast, fingering her. Lana was still standing and was rocking avidly on his fingers, moaning.

He then grabbed her and placed her forward onto the bed. She put her elbows down and lifted her bottom up, so that she was fully exposed to him.

"Oh. I just need to be fucked," Lana sighed. She hadn't realized how horny she really had been until now.

"Well you have run into the right man to do that, sweetheart."

She could then feel his tongue in her vagina and on her clitoris, and he had inserted one finger into her bottom. Not long after she came, with her body rocking heavily, and her screams muffled into the pillow.

By now, Lana had reached back for his manhood before Paul thrust into her from behind. She moaned loudly, enjoying the sensation of him deep inside of her.

"God, you feel so good like this, baby," he said after thrusting away for several minutes. "But, hold on, I want to see your face when you come."

He turned Lana over and placed her gently on her back, spreading her legs back, and was able to stand and fuck her very slow and long, while he rubbed her clitoris. He was in deep blissful concentration.

Lana then laid back as much as possible, intensely enjoying the sensations he was giving her. She closed her eyes, and could feel the warm insistence of orgasm creeping up on her. She held back for a while, clenching her fists and scrunching her face, not wanting it to happen too soon.

But then she bellowed loudly, trailing into high-pitched screams and sighs. Not long after, Paul withdrew and came over her lower belly. She rubbed his sperm into her skin, luxuriating in the glow of the moment.

He lay next to her for a few minutes, kissing and snuggling into Lana's breasts, telling her how beautiful she was in her exulted state before suggesting a shower. She agreed.

He could not take his eyes off her. He toweled her dry and was up for another round.

Oh well, Lana thought. There were a lot worse ways she could spend an early evening at home.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

The next morning, both of them had woken up early before dawn; Paul already horny and ready to go. Amazingly, though under normal circumstances she rarely had early morning sex, Lana too had found herself incredibly aroused from the moment he'd reached over and touched her, a hand sneaking down to grab one of her breasts.

Now perched at the edge of the bed, she groaned and growled as he rammed into her swollen slit. Lana was slamming back on his cock with as much enthusiasm as he was laying into her open hole and alternated between rubbing her sweet ass and reaching forward to rub her belly and grab her hanging tits.

When he rubbed her ass, he would use his thumbs to massage Lana's puckering anus which seemed to draw a sharp growl from her each time he did it.

After a few minutes, Paul pulled his cock from Lana's pussy, making a wet popping sound as he exited her.

She told him to lie on the bed, and he quickly complied. Panting, Lana rose from the bed and he scooted back away from the edge of the bed until his head was lying on the pillow.

Lana kneeled on the bed and worked her way toward him. She positioned herself above him, and began sucking and nibbling on his nipples. After a minute, she lowered her pussy to his cock and started sliding her wet slit up and down his shaft, but did not allow him to enter her.

Slowly, she kissed her way down his torso and slid her body down until her mouth reached his throbbing cock. Almost teasingly, she started licking the head of his shaft in short strokes, then swirling her tongue around the entire bulb.

She turned her head so that she could slide her mouth sideways down the entire length of his shaft. Lana had become an expert cock sucker during their marriage, and she made sure he was getting the head of his life.

After a minute or two of teasing Paul, she grabbed the rod so that it stood straight up. She then placed the head in her mouth and slowly began to insert the entire cock into her mouth and throat.

Within a minute, Lana's mouth actually reached the base of his tool; once fully throated, she began pulsing her lips at the base of his member, applying just enough pressure to bring Paul close to cumming, but not quite.

Lana slid her now free hand to his sack, gently massaging the testicles within. He let out a deep groan and seemed to lose all the tension that she had created with her preliminary cock teasing.

Sensing he may cum too soon, Lana slid her mouth up and off his cock. She positioned her body back over his dick, ready to straddle him. She reached down between her legs and spread her already stretched lips and wriggled her bottom until the head of Paul's cock was touching her waiting slit.

After the end of his head was in her love channel, Lana put her arms out to brace herself for the full entry. Slowly, she gyrated until the head started to enter more easily. Paul reached his hands around each side of her smooth ass and pulled her pussy open.

His dick slid right in nearly halfway and she let out a low groan. Paul slid his ass lower towards the end of the bed to gain better leverage, then slid the rest of his meat up into her hole. She let out a gasp and reached back to place her hands on his. Together, they spread her ass and pussy as he started pile driving her.

As Paul continued pounding her, he leaned his head up to take one of Lana's full tits into his mouth. As he took the nipple in, she sighed and reached to actually present the breast to the eager licker. Holding her tit in place and squeezing it to make the nipple more prominent, he took the entire nipple in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around on the hard nipple causing Lana to moan again and again.

A minute or two later, she removed her tit from his mouth and positioned herself completely upright on top of his dick. She reached down to her pussy and rubbed her clit, before rubbing her hands up her belly and to her tits. She started rubbing her nipples and squeezing her massive melons together, causing them to become hard and firm.

Meanwhile, Paul reached down beneath her swollen belly and found her engorged clit, which he started to rub and flick with his thumb. Lana was now in a frenzy, and she started bucking back and forth with her firm tits bouncing up and down.

She leaned backward on her arms and reared her head back, giving him a magnificent view of her pregnant form and the perfect angle to continue the tit massage that she had begun.

Lana looked down at Paul and asked if he was ready. He groggily nodded in the affirmative and she slowed her pace to a deliberate grind. She reached down to rub her clit feverishly.

He rubbed his hands back and forth, over Lana's solid, smooth thighs and across her silky ass as he screwed her harder and felt his balls tighten. It was a sure sign that he would cum at any moment.

Sure enough, Paul stiffened and Lana froze. He let out a growl that transitioned into a groan. Lana let out a yelp and screamed, gasping for air and shaking uncontrollably. She begged him to give her more, screaming that she could feel his hot load filling her completely.

She reached both hands down to her pussy and spread her lips wide open to reveal her wet, shiny pinkness and budding clit...a sight that caused him to cut loose with one final massive load of cum.

After their pace slowed over the next minute, Lana lifted herself from his manhood and collapsed next to him. His rod was pulsing, droplets of cum running down the shaft to his now empty sack.

Lana struggled to catch her breath, and then they both drifted off back to sleep. About a few hours later, Paul awoke and looked out the window, seeing full daylight as Lana remained sleeping on her pillow, no doubt exhausted from the earlier morning's events. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

He put on a pair of gym shorts and went to the kitchen to make breakfast for his sleeping wife. As he removed ingredients from the refrigerator, he began to think that he was going to enjoy having her like this while he could and maybe asking if his parents could keep Danny for another day or two.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

As she drew near her due date, Lana hadn't gone out much; she felt too big and uncomfortable most of the time. In addition, Danny was at the stage where he was a handful, making her even more tired most of the time.

Though her in-laws had offered to take Danny while Paul was away, Lana had refused most of the time; her son was her responsibility, after all, and as active as he was and a challenge for her to keep up with him, Lana loved spending time with Danny.

And now that the boys were about to have a long-awaited a tag team championship match, Paul had wanted her to be there on the night of that particular match. Kim had pounced on the idea; Lana hadn't exactly been thrilled with it.

"I'm not going out there if you win," she warned. "People would need wider TV screens for sure!"

"Come on, _hermosa, _you are absolutely gorgeous," Paul countered. "There is nothing more beautiful than a woman with child."

"Easy for _you_ to say. You didn't have to carry this little girl around for almost nine months. And I still had padding on me before this from when I was having Danny."

"Which you never heard me complain about," he grinned.

Lana grinned back. "No, I think you were especially happy about my increase in both chest size and well…my increased drive for intimacy."

Paul wiggled his eyebrows mischievously. "Indeed."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, isn't there a time you _aren't _thinking about sex?"

"Not as long as you're around, baby. But seriously, I'd love nothing more than to have you there, especially when we win this match."

"Must be pretty important if you want to drag me and my giant belly along."

"_Please?" _he asked, giving her puppy eyes.

"Oh, all right; I suppose it won't hurt, being Kim is also going anyway. But don't come groaning to me when you get teased for having a whale for a wife."

"I get razzed about that, someone's going to get a super kick to the face from me, provided a certain midget doesn't kill them first," Paul grinned again. "Meanwhile, I'll save the groaning for something a little more 'productive.' "

Lana shook her head. "Get your mind out of the gutter. The issue now is what are we doing with Danny."

"Take him with us," he suggested.

"Paul!" she laughed. "We can barely keep up with him here at home as it is, and you want to take him to this show?"

"May as well make it a family event. And you know how some of the girls just love him. Quite a few of them wouldn't mind taking him off your hands if the need be."

Lana couldn't help but smile. "Come to think of it, he is a charmer like his _papi. _Then again, if we get really strapped, you know how Kim will happy to cover for me."

"Kimbo also spoils the hell out of him, kind of like _Mami_ and Pops do."

"Well, they have a valid excuse; one's his godmother and the others are his grandparents. That's basically their job."

"Right. Anyway, it's not like I get to take either of you with me, so it might be kind of fun. And when Midget and I win, it will be that much better to enjoy it with the ones I love."

"You sure are confident that you will take this thing," Lana said.

"It will be like shooting fish in a barrel. Trust me; he and I both have a good feeling about this."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Kim and Lana were at the hotel relaxing a few days later; the guys had gone to the arena hours earlier to practice and prepare for the championship match they would have that night and Danny was napping in the next room.

Lana had let out a low groan, trying to stretch her back a little.

"What's the matter?" Kim asked, looking up from her magazine.

"Ugh, I've had this backache about all day. Of course, having a belly like a whale doesn't help any."

"Neither does you and PL going at it practically every night," Kim said, failing to hide a grin.

"Would you knock it off? If you must know, that is _his_ idea most of the time, though he's kind of gotten less 'enthusiastic' during it since I'm close to being due."

"That's right, the baby's due in a couple of weeks. Isn't it kind of risky to have come with us, though, especially being so close?"

Lana shook her head. "This whole thing was Paul's idea, with this big match and all, and he wanted Danny to come with us to boot. I tried to talk him out of it; a pregnant woman close to delivery and a toddler wouldn't exactly be my idea of fun travel companions."

"Tell me about it," Kim giggled a little. "I've traveled with an overgrown toddler for almost two years, that is, when he isn't engrossed in his ever-growing collection of porn."

"Yeah, I think he's tortured my husband with most of it," Lana agreed before groaning again.

"You know, I packed some of those heat wrap things," Kim offered. "I think you should try one of those and lay down for a bit before we have to get ready."

"That might not be a bad idea. What time does the show start?"

"Brian said eight thirty, according to the card."

"Oh good, I can at least get a nap in for a couple of hours."

"Go ahead," Kim nodded. "If Dan wakes up in the meantime, I can keep an eye on him."

"Thanks. Just get me up in a couple of hours if I'm not up already."

_Meanwhile:_

"Hey, dopefuck! Come outside with me while I have a cigarette. I want to talk to you," Brian yelled from down the hall.

"Jesus, Midget, why don't you just broadcast it all over the world?" Paul asked after catching up to him. "If we're going to work a good strategy, we don't need every dickhead in the building knowing about it."

"Don't know what your problem is, dude; I'm confident we have this thing in the bag."

"You would, but it doesn't mean we can slack off. We've been on Raw almost a fucking year and this is the first shot at a title we've had."

"And about damn time. Being put on Heat every week is getting old, especially when guys like you are up at six every morning to work out, you're disciplined, help people out even when you don't have to, probably spend more time with fans than anyone, yet who got fucked over all the time until now?"

"You got a point there," Paul agreed. "So what great ideas do you have for us to work this thing?"

"I got tons," Brian grinned, lighting a cigarette before hammering out the details.

"So what do you think?" he asked once he had finished.

"I think with that strategy, we're going to kick some major ass and walk away with some gold. And what's even better is that the girls will be here to see us do it up close and in person."

_A few hours later:_

"Feel any better?" Kim asked, seeing Lana was dressed to go to the show.

Lana nodded. "A little. I think the combination of the heat wrap thing, a nap and then a long shower may have done the trick for the most part. There's kind of a dull ache in my back and lower stomach, but it isn't that bad, at least right now."

"Good. I took the liberty of cleaning Danny up and dressing him while you were napping. He's all ready to go."

"Thanks, Kim. I'm sure he was a handful the whole time."

"I don't know; he seemed to enjoy the bath. Of course, I got one in the process, but at least _he _had fun. Still, it's one less thing you had to do."

"True. What time is it?"

"Seven fifteen. And the venue's about fifteen minutes from here, so we should be good. I'll grab Danny while you get the key card and lock up behind us."

Lana nodded. "We better go then. Something tells me this is going to be one night none of us are going to forget."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

"You okay?" Paul asked Lana, who appeared to be a bit peaked and was shifting uncomfortably. "You're not looking very good."

"Wow, you're a real charmer, PL," Brian laughed. "No wonder chicks never stuck around long after they initially fell at your feet before you roped in poor Red here."

Paul shot him a dirty look. "Will you get your head out of your ass? I was just wondering if my wife is okay; she doesn't look very comfortable."

"I'm carrying a baby around that can drop any day; what do you think?" Lana asked back. "But you have more important things to worry about, such as your match."

"And a second kid due to arrive at any time that causes pain from hell, along with Dan and this new arrival to be having a dumb assed, hairy beast for a father," Brian added

Paul slapped him upside the head for the comment.

"What'd I tell you, Red?" Brian joked, rubbing where he's been slapped. "He fucking abuses me."

"Sometimes you have it coming, Midget," Paul responded, smacking him again.

"Will you two loons cut it out?" Kim asked, coming into the room and positioning a cushion she'd found behind Lana. "Here, try this; it might help a little."

"Why don't you just let me take you to the hospital?" Paul asked, worried now. "You've had that backache practically all day."

"Because I'm not in labor, Paul," Lana shook her head. "It's just a backache, which I rarely had with Danny. And I would think I'd know when I was in labor, based on previous experience."

"Jesus Christ," he muttered. "At least let someone check you to rule out anything serious. What if it's some kind of weird contractions or something?"

"It's not contractions, trust me; if that were the case, they certainly aren't the kind I had when Danny was being born."

Brian perked up. "Where is the Danster anyway? Wasn't he supposed to be with you, Kimberly?"

Kim nodded. "He's with Mel and Barbie, charming the hell out of them, of course. They agreed to keep an eye on him while I went to look for something to get Lana comfortable."

"Well, he's in good hands for sure then," Lana managed to smile. "Of course, taking him on the road is like leaving him with his grandparents—I should also add it's like leaving him with his _god_parents as well—once I get Danny back, it's a challenge to get him settled down, especially at bedtime. And being here hasn't helped very much, especially since some people like to pass Danny around."

"You better add _Papi_ to that mix too," Brian grinned. "Quit making me out to be the bad guy."

"In case you missed the memo, you _are_ the bad guy," Paul quipped. "And have been for quite some time."

"That's only for my job, dude. I'm really a teddy bear deep inside."

"That both he and his wifey spoil my kid rotten."

"And that's a problem?" Kim giggled.

Lana chuckled at the exchange before her before feeling another spasm, causing her to grimace.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Paul asked again.

"I'm going to be fine, honey," she reassured him. "Thank goodness Kim found this cushion. I think it will help a little. Now get your asses out there and don't come back until you have some gold for us to take home!"

He grinned and gave her a mock salute. "Yes, _mi hermosa."_


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

That night, the guys had indeed won their match and came backstage to what could have been described as a hero's welcome, with Brian singing a crude version of "We Are the Champions" at the top of his lungs.

"Will you knock it off, fuck-o?" Paul asked, laughing. "You're embarrassing the shit out of us."

"_I'm _not embarrassed," Brian grinned back. "May as well enjoy it with me; most of the locker room thinks we're butt buddies anyway. Not that I'd want to tap that." He gave a loud whack on Paul's ass.

"Jesus Christ, Midget!" he yelled, still laughing. "Have you _any _limits?"

"Fuck no."

"I should have known better than to ask in the first place."

"Hey, speaking of partners, where's the girls? I figure at least Kimberly would be out here to ambush us."

"Yeah, good point. Maybe she's still with Lana."

"Well, may as well go show them our hard-earned gold, PL. After all, it was your wife that said not to come back here without it."

Their banter was interrupted when Barbie rushed up toward them. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you!"

Paul gave her a look. "Why? What's going on?"

"They just took Lana out of here to the hospital awhile ago. She's having the baby. Kim followed the ambulance and said to tell you guys to meet her there. Mel's got Danny in case you were wondering."

"Fucking hell!" Paul said, going a little pale. "I _knew_ I should have taken her to the hospital earlier when she was having that backache."

"Lana's water broke while she was watching you guys' match," Barbie added. "Kim took care of everything."

"We better haul ass, dude," Brian told him. "Red could have have that kid popped out halfway by now and calling you every dirty name known to man while she's at it."

"Yeah," Paul nodded. "And at that point, I don't dare say anything that either would get me arrested in a few world countries or my balls ripped off. I already went through all that craziness when she was having Danny."

_Several hours later:_

"Just one more push, Lana, " the doctor said.

She nodded, doing what she was instructed; it seemed to be a little easier this time around then it had been when Danny was born. Lana wasn't sure that it was because it was her second child or the baby was a girl, but in any case, she was in no position to complain.

The room had filled with the sound of baby cries while Paul still held her hand. Their daughter had finally arrived.

"We finally got our baby girl," he said kissing her lips softly.

"And she's very healthy," the doctor said, handing the tiny form to Lana.

Emily Paulina had a full head of dark hair and caramel skin like her father and large blue eyes that she had inherited from her mother. She had reminded Lana of what Danny had looked like at birth, only Emily was a little more petite in length and weight.

A nurse then took the baby to clean her up after a few moments while Lana was being prepared to be taken to the recovery room once the tubal ligation had been completed. Her family was now complete, exhausting as it had been.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

"You should have seen Paul trying to put the baby seat in the car," Lana chuckled to Kim a few days later after bringing Emily home from the hospital. "That poor man must have taken half an hour to try and get it in there. Of course, we also went through this when we first brought Danny home."

"That should have been a comedy," Kim replied, giggling. "So how is _Papi _doing with the new arrival?"

"Are you kidding? She already has him twirled around her little finger. And Danny is just so fascinated with Emily. I have to keep reminded both of them that she isn't a toy."

"By the sounds of it, I think someone is going to be her _papi's_ girl."

"Don't worry, Kim; I have a feeling she already is. Lord help any man that comes near this girl when she grows up."

"If Paul has his way, they'll be dead or close to it before they even _think_ about getting into Emily's panties."

"That's about the size of it. About the only man Paul has let hold her is Brian; anyone else gets the death stare if they as much as try to take Emily from him without Paul handing her over first."

"Wow, talk about an overprotective father." Kim replied.

"Oh, he's always been that way, even with Danny. Of course now, it seems more intense with Emily."

"Maybe her being a girl has something to do with it."

"I would guess that as well, and I better get used to it. I have a feeling she's going to have a hard time staying out of sight of either her _papi _or brother."

_A short time later:_

One she had hung up on Lana, Kim noticed that Brian was laughing evilly while staring at an image on his phone.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

He grinned mischievously, showing Kim the video.

"Oh my God! What is that all about?"

"Jesus, you act like you never saw a guy jacking off before," Brian laughed.

"I can't believe you did that to that poor guy!"

"What? He isn't getting any action from Red for about six weeks; this is just evidence that he isn't screwing around, unless screwing around means doing Edith Palm and Her Five Sisters while watching lesbian porn."

"Oh dear God," Kim groaned. "Does he…."

"Nope," Brian answered, "which makes this even more funny. The moaning and groaning he's doing makes the whole thing. I might even put this online just for laughs, especially the parts where he cums."

"You're really asking for me to be a young widow once he finds out, you know that?"

"Got to keep myself entertained somehow."

"You need to find a better hobby."

"Why find another one when PL is so much fun? I might even have Red check this out. She'll laugh her ass off."

"Sure, after both of them kill you and sell your corpse on eBay first."

"Hey, a lot of people would want this body."

"Honestly, if you were going to make some goofy video, why couldn't you have him doing something else a little more….oh, I don't know, a _little less off color?"_

"Because seeing him jack off is more fun. And it shows his tiny dick."

"You are a sick, sick, man," Kim sighed, and then changed the subject. "So when is the drug test?"

"Tomorrow. Everyone on the entire rosters has to drop their pants before the techs and piss in a cup. Great times. It isn't like I can piss on demand; there's nothing like whipping one's cock out in front of a total stranger and giving a sample."

"You had no trouble whipping it out in front of _me _when I'd only worked for you less than a week."

"I thought you never saw one before. So sue me."

"Very funny, Brian. Anyway, we're meeting our partners in crime and the kids for dinner in a couple of hours; if you can get away from making and viewing your secret porno videos for a few moments, we need to get ready."

"Sure," he grinned, snapping the phone shut. "Nothing like a free meal while seeing the little munchkins in the meantime. Let's go spoil some kids."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"I can't believe you actually said that!" Kim cried the next day after the guys had their drug test.

"_I_ do," Paul replied, "We all should know by now that Brian has no damn shame."

Lana looked up as she gently put Emily back in her bassinet after burping her. "Believe what?"

"What Brian came off with when he went in for the drug test," Kim replied.

"Well, what exactly was said that is supposed to be so outrageous?"

Brian grinned. "Well, I walked in and the woman who was doing the test shook my hand and then she was like, "Well you know the drill; drop your pants, and I was like, 'Don't you think you're being a little bit _forward?'_"

Lana laughed. "What's so wrong with that?"

"Then I couldn't pee on demand, so we had to sit there while she got me cup after cup of water. And then she was getting pissed off. I went to turn away from her and she told me I couldn't, so whipped out my dick and she kept looking at it, so I asked her if she'd like a wallet sized snapshot. I peed in a cup, handed it to her and told her to call me."

Lana laughed even harder. "I would have loved to have been the paint on that wall just to see the look on her face!"

"Yeah, he forgot to tell her he was _married," _Kim joked.

"I don't see what you're bitching about; you get plenty every night," Brian quipped.

Paul cleared his throat. "Okay, that's a little more than I need to know." He then went to pick up Emily.

"Paul, leave the baby alone," Lana sighed. "I just nursed her and put her down to sleep. It's been enough keeping Danny from poking at her all day."

"What, I can't hold my own kid?" he asked with a slight whine.

"Sure, but not at every turn. She has to sleep sometime."

He shrugged. "All right."

"Did I tell you all about PL's piss test?" Brian asked. "Anyway, he couldn't produce pee on demand either. He downed a bottle of water and then said, 'All right, well, I think I'm warmed up for her.' Then I heard his zipper and knew they were finally getting somewhere."

"Wait!" Paul cried. "How did you know about all of this shit anyway?"

"I was eavesdropping," Brian answered. "But to continue, I heard him say, 'Sorry, that's all I can get.' I figured by then he was done."

"That was horrible!" Paul said. "She watched me the whole time. I got so nervous, I got like a drop. I almost opened a fucking vein trying to get _that_ drop out!"

"And I about busted a gut laughing when I heard him moaning from touching himself," Brian added with a sly grin.

"I did not!" Paul yelled.

"It's okay, dude. It's going to be a long six weeks; I'm sure Red understands."

"To say the least," Lana said, clearing her throat a little."I could use the break in that department anyway."

"Hey, you were just as guilty of practically raping me while you were pregnant as I was being all over you, so don't play innocent in all of this," Paul retorted.

"Can't rape the willing," Lana giggled.

"And it wouldn't be the first time he's had visits from Madame Palm during his 'dry periods,'" Brian added. "I have evidence."

"Yeah, I happened to see it on Shortzilla's phone," Kim said, turning a little pale.

"**WHAT?!" **Paul bellowed. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Thanks a lot, Big Mouth," Brian said, giving Kim a look.

"Fucking hell," Paul groaned. "Is she saying what I think she is? Give me that goddamned phone of yours!"

"Hate to tell you, dude, but a couple of people already saw it. I even emailed some stills to some friends. They thought it was pretty hot, at least the ones that didn't laugh at your dick."

"Remind me to put some of _your_ naked pictures on the Internet," Paul growled at him. "That is, after I slit your throat."

"Oh, that was totally _not _threatening," Brian grinned.

"Yeah, _he_ wouldn't have any problem baring it all for the world," Kim added. "He has no shame, remember?"

"Right," Lana agreed. "We're talking about a man who openly mooned a group of fans not too long ago when they heckled you two. Besides, there's nothing wrong with a man giving himself…..uh…some 'relief' once in awhile."

"_Once in awhile?" _Brian laughed. "PL strokes off at least three times a day when we're traveling. It's a wonder he hasn't gone blind by now. How long is it before you have sex again?"

"_Brian!" _Kim exclaimed.

"Not that it's any of your business, but at least another three weeks," Lana deadpanned. "But then again, as they say, there's more than one way to skin a cat."


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Later that night, Lana got ready for bed while Paul had put Danny to bed and then got Emily settled, rocking her to sleep.

When Paul got back to their bedroom, Lana was sitting up waiting for him. He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Jesus," he sighed, tossing his clothes aside, "I didn't think putting down two munchkins could be such a challenge, though I think settling Danny in for the night was more of it than Emily."

"Poor guy," Lana said, sitting up on her knees and massaging his shoulders and nibbling on his earlobe.

"We should get some sleep while we can. Emily will be up again before we know it."

"I was thinking maybe we could do something else," she replied, moving to the edge of the bed and trailing kisses down his chest and stomach, stopping at the spot above his bellybutton.

"Please stop teasing me, baby," he groaned. "You know we can't do _that _for awhile yet."

Her hands inched up his thighs to the waistband of his boxers, looking at him with a sly smile. "Of course, but remember when I said there's more than one way to skin a cat?"

"Oh God," Paul gasped, knowing now what she meant when he felt Lana's hand slip under the material and stroke him a few times before pulling the boxers off, tossing them aside.

She continued her torture, licking the inside of one of his thighs and then the other. It was driving him insane and it was all he could do to not act on his own urges.

When Lana finally tired of teasing him she turned her attention to the raging hard on before her, swirling her tongue around the tip. Paul groaned as she began to work her magic on him.

She didn't inch her way down his cock. That would have been much to fast. Instead, her tongue edged along his erection, tasting his tender flesh all around his shaft, before her warm lips touched him, before he was drawn deeper into her small mouth, feeling first the suction, then an explosive pressure that made him want to burst.

Her fingernails gently scratched his balls, as she stroked his sack, before she had managed to take all of him in her mouth. But she knew she couldn't just keep him there. No matter how good it felt. And it felt so good.

Kiss his balls. She had to kiss his balls. So she let his cock rest between her breasts for a moment, while she stroked them, teased them, and then very carefully, very thoughtfully, sucked first one then the other into her mouth, letting her tongue explore them too. Finding the seam, tracing the seam from end to end, over and over again, until she forced herself to stop.

She wrapped her mouth around his head again before sliding her mouth down his shaft. She couldn't go deep enough to suit her this way, not with the rhythm they had established, so she wrapped her hand around the base of his cock, or as much of it as she could hold, and stroked it upward as she brought her mouth down to meet it.

Paul climaxed, shooting cum down her throat and almost making Lana choke, until her tongue, her wonderful tongue, came back to life. She licked cum off his shaft and head while she pulled forward just enough to swallow the next spurt, and the next, more easily.

She then licked him clean, both of them totally satisfied.

Both of them slept soundly for hours afterwards, until Emily's tiny cries woke them, making it known it was time for her feeding.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

The next morning, Paul had been downing his breakfast when Brian plopped happily beside him, the look on his best friend's face not lost on the blond.

"What's up with you today?" Brian asked. "You look like a cat that ate the canary. Then again, better than you being a bitchy old woman like you have been from time to time since Red had the baby."

Paul craned his head around, checking to make sure Lana wasn't within earshot. She was too busy with Kim while cradling Emily in her arms, Danny clamoring at both womens' feet.

"Let's say I got a little lucky last night," he said in a low voice.

"Wait a minute," Brian said. "You mean that you and Red _went at it? _I thought you two couldn't fuck for a few more weeks."

There was then a long pause

"Wait a minute…._Red gave you a blow job?" _Brian announced loudly, finally figuring it out.

"Jesus, Midget, why not tell the whole neighborhood? I don't think the people across the street could hear you. But not that it's your business, but yeah, that's what she did."

"So what happened?" Brian asked.

"Well, I'd just put the kids to bed and she was sitting up when I got to our bedroom. Long story short, she all but ripped my clothes off, got down to business as it were; I got off, she swallowed, the end."

"God damn," Brian grinned. "No wonder you're in such a good mood today. At my house, we call that 'hummer week' when Kim's got her period."

Paul wrinkled his nose. "TMI, dude."

"Hey, maybe you can have some 'hummer weeks' yourselves until the doctor waves the green flag. It would be a considerable improvement to you beating off all the time."

Paul smiled. "Yeah, I won't argue with you there." He lowered his voice some more. "And she's one mind-blowing cocksucker, let me tell you."

"Well, we all know how much those redheads love to fuck. Speaking of which, I showed Red that video."

"What video?" Paul then thought a moment. "Oh my God, not the one where…"

"Yep, the infamous stroke video from my phone. Don't worry, dude; she loved it. Maybe _that_ was what resulted in you getting some good head last night."

Paul glanced over at his wife again, who was still engrossed in conversation with Kim while they played with the kids, before turning back to Brian. "Come to think of it, it was kind of out of the blue. I think before that, she'd only done it one other time, and that was while she was pregnant."

"Hmm, maybe I should make more of them—"

"Do that _one more time _and I will fucking kill you," Paul glared. "You want to make dirty phone vids, do you own, put your own naked ass online, and go excite Kimbo."

"That might not be a bad idea," Brian grinned. "But it's much more fun doing it with _you."_


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

A couple of days later, Lana beckoned Kim over to the living room, signaling her to be quiet.

"What's going on?" Kim asked in a half whisper.

"You have to see this," Lana said with a smile.

They saw Paul spread on the couch snoring gently, Emily asleep on his chest, lulled by her father's heartbeat and a protective hand around her. Beside them, Danny was cuddled up, also asleep.

"Oh isn't that cute," Kim sighed, smiling back at Lana.

"Talk about bonding with their father, huh?"

"Can't get any better than that," Kim agreed.

At that moment, Brian had barged in. "How's it hanging, ladies?" he asked loudly.

Kim shushed him. "Were you brought up in a barn? The kids are asleep."

"Whoops, sorry. Anyway, I got that stuff you needed, Red. It's on the table."

Lana nodded. "Thanks," she said softly.

"So why are we whispering anyway?"

Kim beckoned toward the living room. "Have a look."

"Oh, _that_ is priceless," Brian said, reaching for his phone. "I've seen PL in a lot of compromising positions, but this has to be the best one yet. I should do more pictures to blackmail him with and pass around the locker room. This will be right up there with the ones of him jacking off."

"I can't believe you'd take a precious moment and do something like this," Kim frowned.

"From every angle imaginable," Brian replied, smiling wide while filming. "Then I can send copies."

Kim frowned again and took the phone. "Give me that, you egg head. Do you _always_ have to be picking at him?"

"Sure," Brian grinned. "He's an easy target."

"One of these days, he really will slit your throat," Kim said, shaking her head. "If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were jealous."

"Of what? PL having two pissing, shitting, puking and big boogery sneezing mininature versions of himself? Not my fault he and Red fuck like rabbits and he didn't pull out in time."

"Brian!" both women cried in unison.

"Is that the way to talk about your godchildren?" Kim asked sternly.

"I was kidding; don't get out the forks. But a cat is a lot less trouble for me. Thing about a cat is that we can plop food and water on the floor and they don't care, and we can leave a cat alone for hours without worrying about Child Protective Services being called on us. No two o'clock feedings, no setting up a college fund, and no shitty diapers. I think the cat option works out for us well."

"Sure, if you like having a furry ass shoved in your face every morning," Kim laughed.

"I room with PL 300 days a year, dress, undress and shower in a locker room full of naked men; I'm used to having furry asses around."

He then held up the phone. "Now look at that. The joy of PL being a _papi_. Not as exciting as him beating the meat, but even this makes me warm and fuzzy inside."

"And you most likely won't risk getting yourself killed if you post that one online," Lana said, smiling.

"Maybe not," Brian smiled back. "But it might generate a few snickers nevertheless."


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

Emily had woken up in the middle of the night with a healthy yell, waking both Paul and Lana.

"Stay there," he yawned. "Let me get her."

Lana shook her head with a sigh. "No, you get some rest," she said. "I'll get Emily."

"Your ass is worn out as it is. Just stay there; I can handle this. At least Danny didn't wake up."

"All right, if you insist," she said sleepily, wondering with amusement how he was going to pull off the part of nursing their eight-week-old daughter.

Paul made his way into the nursery and turned on the lamp by the crib, causing Emily to look over and quiet a little.

"What's going on in here, little missy?" he asked, picking her up gently. "The way you were yelling, you could wake up the whole neighborhood. I'm surprised your brother isn't up; then again, someone could drop a bomb in this place and Danny would never know what hit him."

Paul then wrinkled his nose. "Uh huh, I think I know what part of the problem is. How can such a pretty little girl be so stinky? What the hell does your _mami _have in that breast milk that is so damn lethal anyway?"

He set the baby down on the changing table, holding his breath as he changed the offensive diaper, cleaning Emily thoroughly before putting on a fresh diaper and dressing her again.

"There we go," he said, picking her up. "Now that your ass is nice and clean, let's see about getting something in your belly. For that, though, we need to pay a visit to _Mami; _otherwise, I can't help you there, kid."

Emily looked up at her father as Paul carried her back to the bedroom. He glanced back down at her for a moment, noticing what appeared to be a smile.

"Are you trying to laugh at your _papi?" _he grinned at the baby and tickling her a little. "Okay, I'm kind of a funny looking, hairy beast, but at two in the morning, nobody's going to look their finest. Remember that."

Emily gave a wider smile at both the tickling and chatter Paul was directing toward her.

"Damn it, that _is_ a smile!" he said cheerfully. "And _Mami_ better not even think about saying that you have gas. For one, if you let a toot, I'd known about it by now, and second, I know plenty about gas from traveling with Uncle Brian."

"What are you going on about?" Lana smiled as he handed Emily to her in the bedroom.

"She's hungry, but has a dry ass. And she just smiled."

"Paul, she probably has a little gas in her tummy. It just looks like they're smiling when they do."

"Hey, if you farted, you'd smile too. I'm telling you, baby, she was smiling while I talked to her."

Lana shook her head as she held Emily up to nurse, which the baby did greedily.

"I think some little lady was hungry," she cooed gently.

"Jesus, when _isn't _that kid hungry? I think she eats more than Dan did when he was that age. Then again, there's nothing wrong with a woman that eats."

She chuckled. "Only _you _would say something like that."

Paul raised an eyebrow. "Did I also mention that there is something both beautiful and sexy about a woman nursing?"

"Now why doesn't that surprise me, considering it's coming from the one person that would find nursing a child 'sexy'?"

Paul shrugged. "I'm a tit man; what can I say?"

Lana just shook her head and smiled.

"Hey," he said, pointing down at Emily. "Look there. She's doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Just look!"

"Oh my God," she breathed. "She _is_ smiling!"

"Yeah, well, she didn't have gas like you thought, did she?"

"I guess not, at least I haven't smelled anything," Lana replied, laughing.

"And she smiled at her _papi _first," Paul gloated. "Neener."

"Good, that means you have the honor of burping Emily then," she said, handing over the baby to him and laying a burp cloth on him.

"Great, it wasn't enough I had to change a loaded diaper that could have passed for toxic waste."

"Well, you said you wanted to spend more quality time with your children. There you go."

.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

The next day, Lana had gone to an appointment, leaving the kids with Paul, since Kim was at work that day. Brian had dropped in as always, entertaining Danny while Paul kept an eye on Emily.

Lana had used the breast pump, leaving milk for Emily along with instructions when she was to be fed. Paul had followed them to the letter, now patting and rubbing the baby's back as Emily made little gurgling noises.

"Come on, _mi princesa, _give your _papi_ a burp," Paul said gently to her. "You can't keep it down there forever, unless you want me to catch hell from your _mami."_

Soon, a loud belch filled the room.

"Fucking Christ!" Brian said loudly. "That was _the kid? _Jesus, if I hadn't known any better, I'd sworn that was one of yours, PL."

"That's my girl," Paul smiled down at Emily. "She even put you to shame on your best day, Midget."

"Sounds like it," Brian replied, staring into the refrigerator.

"Dude, don't you have food at home?" Paul asked, wiping Emily's face and putting her into the bassinet.

"Not anything that can be immediately identified without going through a forensic lab. I'm married to _Kim, _remember?"

He got a glass from the cupboard, poured milk from a pitcher, and took a drink. "Wow, man, you actually got some fresh milk for once. Red must have gotten to the store after all."

"Not quite," Paul replied, trying to keep from laughing. "That's the breast milk she left for Emily."

Brian went a little pale, spitting it out. "And you just sat there and watched me drink this shit?! God damn, I'm going to be sick." He took off toward the bathroom.

"Make sure you put the lid down and close the door when you're done," Paul said, now laughing. "I'm not getting my ass dragged through the coals if Dan goes in there to play in the toilet."

"Maybe I'll keep both open for that stupid stunt you just pulled, fuck-o" Brian retorted. "You're lucky I'm a nice guy."

"I wasn't the one drinking tit milk," Paul burst out laughing harder. The situation was just too funny not to laugh.

"_Papi _funny," Danny giggled.

"Yeah, _Papi_ is just a real laugh riot," Brian snorted. "But don't worry; I'll get even when he least expects it."

"Typical threat from a white boy," Paul said, still laughing hysterically.

"Hey, guys," Lana said when she came in. "I got back a bit early. The kids weren't a problem, were they?"

Paul was still laughing. "Nope."

"All right, what is so damn funny?"

He had fallen off the couch and was literally rolling on the floor. "Midget was raiding the refrigerator, got the pitcher that Emily's…." Paul couldn't finish.

"Oh my God!" Lana gasped. "You got the baby milk by accident?"

"Which the piece of shit watched me drink before he told me what it was," Brian snorted. "I'm going to kill his ass."

"That's what you get for emailing guys naked pictures of me and then that picture with me in my boxers sleeping with the kids on the couch you sent all over the locker room."

"I thought the one with the kids was adorable," Lana smiled.

"And then dumb ass thought it would be funny putting up that ad for gay sex on Craigslist with my picture," Paul added

"What?" Lana asked. "Brian, you did _what?"_

"Come on; I got like 2,000 replies to that ad before they took it down," Brian said. It was his turn to laugh. "You aren't the only one that apparently finds PL to be a hot stud."

"I still owe you a royal ass kicking for that one," Paul replied. "I still have poofs calling me now and then. Imagine what they think when I tell them not only am I a _straight and a very married _man, but that ad was my best friend's idea of a joke."

Lana looked at Brian again. "I cannot believe you actually did that."

"Hey, that's mild compared to some of the shit your husband's done to _me."_

"Anyway," she asked, "is Emily all right?"

"She's got a full belly, a clean and dry ass, let a burp rip that scared ten years off of Midget, and is now fast asleep," Paul grinned. "Dan's been pretty good too. He's really into those giant Legos Kimbo got for his birthday."

"Sounds like a pretty easy day," Lana nodded, checking into the bassinet to peer at her sleeping daughter.

"For the most part. And the entertainment wasn't bad either."

"Yeah, do that again, dude, and _you'll _be the one getting your throat slit in your sleep the next time we're traveling," Brian said, then chuckled. "But at least I'm around people that are easily amused."


	38. Chapter 38

**C****hapter 38**

"He's been talking about what?" Kim asked the next day.

"Adoption," Lana shook her head.

"But I thought you and Paul didn't want any more children after Emily was born," Kim pointed out. "Isn't that why you had your tubes tied after you had her?"

"That's what I thought too. Then he came back from the tour in Mexico and all of the sudden, this adoption thing came up. That and getting a house."

"Getting a house I can understand; the kids are going to need the space when they get older. Actually, Danny could use a bigger place to run around now. But adopting another kid when Emily isn't even three months old? That's a little odd."

"Well, the good thing is that he isn't discussing a baby," Lana replied. "He wants an older child. Come to think of it, that may not be a bad idea, but as you said, Emily isn't even three months old, and Danny runs me ragged as it is keeping him out of things. He's that age now. At least next year, I can put him in preschool."

"I thought Paul wanted the kids to be home schooled," Kim said.

Lana nodded. "Yes, but his dad said he'd pay for Danny to go to preschool. He really doesn't have to do that, but he thinks his grandkids should be exposed to other children from all walks of life."

"I don't see anything wrong with that."

"Me neither, but Paul's firm that Danny is home schooled once he reaches school age. He thinks the kids would learn a lot more about the world and how it works that way."

"He's right, you know," Kim agreed. "A lot of things can't be taught through books. And seriously, who the hell is going to use ancient history or even calculus in real life anyway? I have yet to use that stuff and I've been out of school forever."

"Same here," Lana chuckled. "And you know, when I think more about it, this whole home school thing isn't really a bad idea. The kids across the street are home school, and they are both very bright and well behaved."

"Not to mention if Danny and Emily are home schooled, you know their homework will get done and you know where they are during the day," Kim nodded.

"Exactly my thought."

"So what about this adoption thing? Do you know if he had looked into it or not?"

Lana nodded. "Yes, and he isn't keen on adopting in the States; that much I know for sure. You know, this has to be the only country that siphons money through the nose to adopt a child? That, all the rules, and it takes forever."

"So I take it he's thinking if you two do adopt, it will be from….." Kim began.

"Mexico," Lana finished, nodding again. "As he says, why keep popping out kids to overpopulate the world more when there are so many kids around the world that need homes?"

"Good point," Kim said with a grin.

"And you know, he's done landscaping, put down floors, and built houses down there; I guess now he adopts a child from there, his list will be complete," Lana chuckled.

"Wow," Kim replied with a low whistle. "I didn't know he did all that stuff in Mexico."

"Yes," Lana said proudly. "The majority of the roster would be content just writing a check. Not Paul. He went out there and gave everything else instead."

"For some reason, that does not surprise me. He's always given two hundred percent no matter what he's done."

"And I have a feeling he's going to do the same as far as this new idea of his is concerned," Lana responded. "As for the house thing, don't be surprised if he goes for some fixer upper."


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

"What's Emo Boy's problem?" Cricket asked, glancing over at Paul when she came over to drop off some items from Creative. "And why are we talking low?"

"Oh, he and Brian got into it about something or another," Lana sighed. "He's been a pain in the ass all day ever since, even yelling at Emily when she started crying. It's all I can do to keep both her and Danny quiet. I just told Kim we needed to go out for awhile. I just hate when this stuff happens. She should be here soon."

"Wow. You know it's bad when he yells at the baby. Emily is her _papi's_ girl and won't even let anyone near her except you, Kim and Brian."

"With Mel, Maria and Barbie being rare exceptions," Lana nodded. "And that's only because they're good friends of his."

"Lana!" Paul yelled from the living room. "Where the fuck is the remote?"

"Up your ass where you left it!" she snapped back. "And keep it down; I just got the kids asleep."

"About time after they've been screaming all damn morning."

"Well, what do you expect?" Lana asked. "Danny's only two and Emily's six months old; they don't know any better than to revolve being quiet around you when you're moody."

She then sighed and turned back to Cricket, muttering, "And he wants to adopt _another one _when he's bitching about the two he already has making noise?"

Cricket nodded before replying that she would be leaving. "We can chat later."

"Sure; Kim is on her way anyway. To be honest, she can't get here fast enough. At least by then the kids will be awake and ready to go."

_Later that afternoon:_

Kim held Danny's hand while Lana pushed Emily along in her stroller, looking in the windows of several shops along the way before stopping for lunch.

"So how is it going at your place?" Lana asked.

"Are you kidding? The cat is even in hiding," Kim answered. "At least the weather is nice and we could get out and away from Shortzilla and his temper tantrums."

"What started all of this anyway?"

"God only knows," Kim sighed, rolling her eyes. "All I can tell you is that I wondered if I could get out of the house in one piece."

"Yeah, even my own Grumpie Gertie did all morning was mope around when he wasn't yelling at the kids," Lana agreed, before she smiled.

"What?" Kim wondered.

"I just got an idea," Lana said wickedly, pulling out her phone. "Paul was on the computer when we left." She turned on the phone and grinned again. "And he still is."

"So?"

"Do you remember that nude picture of him Brian sent around to a few of us before Paul and I got married? I happened to save it."

"Oh my God," Kim began laughing, "are you doing what I think you are?"

"If you mean sending it back to Paul, then yes. You know Brian was always crazy about that thing and lost it when his last laptop got fried. He'd been bummed out about it ever since. If anything will bring those two back together, it's a shot of my husband in the full monty."

"For some reason, this does not surprise me," Kim laughed. "So did you find it?"

"Found and sent," Lana replied. "Now let's sit back and see what happens while we enjoy the rest of our lunch."

Several minutes passed by before Kim's phone rang.

"Guess who?" she asked once seeing a number on the Caller ID and then answered it, speaking in an animated tone to Brian for several minutes while Lana cleaned up Danny between picking up pieces of the conversation.

Kim then snapped the phone shut. "All is well once again on the home front," she grinned.

"Really? You mean I can go home now without risking having my head bitten off by an angry Mexican?" Lana asked.

"Looks that way," Kim nodded. "His exact words, 'Awwwww _papi... _you got it for me?' I told him to thank you for hanging on to it while he was at it. Don't be surprised if you get ambushed with love when we get home."

"Good lord, if I would've known it'd be as simple as a picture of Paul's dick, I'd thought of this earlier."

"Yeah," Kim laughed in agreement. "Come on; let's go home. It looks like Emily is almost asleep again anyway."


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

"What's for dinner?" Paul asked cheerfully that night, grabbing Lana around the waist.

"For me to know and you to find out," Lana giggled a little, feeling the scruff tickling her neck. "To be honest, though, I like this side of you better than the grouch you were all morning."

He kissed her neck. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that and bitching out the kids, baby. You're right; I shouldn't take shit out on other people."

"Well, it's no big deal now; at least you two goof balls made up. I don't know why you just won't admit openly one of you can't live without the other."

"You're right again," Paul agreed cheerfully. "We can't. Hey, speaking of which, did Kimbo say anything to you while you girls were out today with the kids?"

"If it was about you two bickering like a couple of grumpy old men, that was the main topic. That was when I came up with the idea of sending his favorite naked picture of you back to you on my phone."

"Oh….well that, yeah. But nothing else?"

"No. Was there supposed to be something?"

"Well, I guess you're going to know sooner or later since she can't hide it forever. That was one thing Midget was stressed about, outside of the other thing we were locking horns about."

"What? Something wrong?" Lana wondered, a little anxious.

"Depends on whom you ask. Kimbo's pregnant."

"Oh my God, and that little shit didn't tell me?" she asked happily. "You wait till I talk to her again!"

"Well, it's taking Midget awhile to adjust to the whole thing," Paul replied. "This all kind of hit him like a ton of bricks."

"Why?" Lana asked. "He'll be a great dad; hell he's practically a kid himself."

"Yay, finally someone that agrees with me! That's what I had been telling dude since we sat down and talked. I told him he could come to either of us at any time if he's got concerns instead of going batshit crazy on everyone."

"I certainly agree. And Kim can certainly count on me."

"I mean, look how he is around Dan and Emily. He's great, Lana. I don't see what the hell he's worried about."

"Neither do I. I'm sure everything will turn out fine."

"While we're on the subject," Paul began, seeing movement from the baby out of the corner of his eye, "when did Emily start crawling?"

"About a couple of weeks ago," Lana replied, putting everything on the table.

"Jesus, once again I miss everything important. Then again, it explains why the outlet covers are back."

He then went to scoop up Emily, who began to laugh when he snuggled into her. "Come here, creepy crawler. _Papi _never did apologize for being such a big meanie earlier."

"I have a feeling your little girl forgives you," Lana smiled as Emily giggled and patted his face.

"Of course she does; _sabes que, _not my fault I'm like a big teddy bear ."

Emily then grabbed a handful of hair, making Paul gasp.

"Whoa, whoa, okay, sweetheart, that hurts. That's _Papi's_ hair," he said calmly, untangling the tiny fist, then turned back to Lana. "You and Brian had to come up with the idea of me growing this out, didn't you?"

"Maybe she has a little revenge in her after all," Lana grinned.

"Jesus, you women can be wicked when you want to be, you know that?"

"Just put her in the high chair while I get Danny," she chuckled, happy that everything was all but back to normal and making a mental note to call Kim later.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

After dinner, Lana called Kim, having a long conversation for the next few hours about pregnancies and babies. She found out that it had been confirmed the day before that Kim had indeed been pregnant. Unfortunately, she had dropped the bomb on Brian shortly after his and Paul's disagreement, which didn't make things any better.

"Good thing you'd thought about that naked picture thing," she had laughed.

"Yes," Lana agreed. "The last thing either of you need right now is more stress. When is your next doctor appointment? I'd like to go in with you."

"I'd like that. I have no idea about any of this."

"Well, if it's any comfort, I was pretty clueless myself when I got pregnant with Danny. The only difference was when I did, I wasn't married to his father at the time. At least you have that advantage."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Everything's going to be fine, you'll see. And remember, if you do need something while Brian's away, I'm right here, and I am sure a few of the other girls will be too."

Lana then glanced up at the clock. "Look, I have to get off of here while on the subject of kids. I have my own two to give baths and put to bed or I may have to deal with another nervous breakdown from their father."

Shortly after, she bathed and changed Emily for bed, letting Paul play with her for a bit while she gave Danny his bath and put on his nightclothes. He had put up a little fuss at first, but Lana had managed to settle him down enough before putting him into bed.

"Where's Emily?" Lana asked when she came out to retrieve the baby and found her nowhere in sight.

"Amazingly enough, she went to sleep while I had her out here watching TV and you were taking care of Dan," Paul replied. "I went ahead and put her to bed."

She smiled. "Well, thanks."

He came over and snuggled against Lana. "Now that all of that is aside, it's time to tuck me in."

"Hmmmm, are you sure about that?" she teased.

"Oh baby, you can mother me all night long. The best thing would be is to let me make love to you."

Lana couldn't say a word, he held her close to him and kissed her, raping Lana's mouth with his tongue. She tangled her hands in his beautiful hair and kissed him back, licking his neck and his ear and playfully biting his lips.

Paul led her into the bedroom, both of them dizzy with desire. He gently stroked her shoulders and back as his lips never left hers when they kissed again. He pulled down the zipper of the casual house dress she'd had on and let it fall to the floor, realizing she had nothing on under it

"Oh baby, you are so beautiful," he said, laying her gently on the bed.

He continued to stare at her with 'fuck me' eyes and Lana felt like she was drowning. She watched as he took off his clothes and lay down beside her.

He touched her face, whispered in her ear. Paul's lips left a trail down Lana's neck and onto her breasts. He licked and sucked her nipples until they were hard as rocks.

She lay him back, ran her fingers down his back, over his tight ass, up and down his legs, over his testicles and everyplace her hands went, her mouth followed.

Lana licked up his shaft and around the head until he moaned and asked her to please take him into her mouth. She sucked him into her mouth and continued to caress his inner thigh at the same time. She could feel Paul's muscles tightening as he was reaching his orgasm, she deep throated him as far as she could until he exploded down her throat.

The emotion on his face was priceless. He pulled her to him and lay her down, his mouth once again raping hers. Paul continued to lick and kiss her nipples and stomach until she finally asked him to stop teasing; she couldn't take it any longer.

He found her clit ready for a tonguing and he sucked and licked it until Lana came.

Before she could recover, he mounted her and rammed his cock into her. Lana couldn't get enough. She wrapped her legs around Paul's waist, pulled him to her by the hair and asked him to give it all to her. They both were covered in sweat by the time he had his second orgasm.

Afterward, they lay beside each other in the bed and he kept stroking and looking at her. Lana began to smile.

"What?" he asked.

"I was thinking at the rate we've been going at this, it's a good thing I have my tubes tied. Otherwise, we would probably have twelve kids by now," she chuckled.

He sat up. "Speaking of which, I have something to show you."

"You're not still on this adoption thing, are you?"

"Maybe I am." He pulled something out of a side drawer and handed it to her. "I wanted to show you something from our last tour of Mexico."

Lana took it. "What's this?"

"Have a look; you may feel the same way I do when I first laid eyes on them."

She looked at the picture of two children that looked to be no more than five years old.

"They're absolutely adorable," she sighed.

"They're twins," Paul explained. "Jorge and Juliana. Interestingly enough, there isn't a great demand for twins, much less older ones there either."

"And you want them," Lana guessed.

"Look at them," he smiled. "They're beautiful, and they're sweet little kids. Wouldn't _you? _It was all I could do not to grab them and hide them in my luggage to bring back with me."

"For someone that didn't want any more children, you're sure hell bent on this, aren't you?"

"I was just thinking about how lucky Emily and Danny are to have parents that love them, Lana. Then there's kids like Jorge and Juliana that all but grew up in that orphanage, not even knowing who their mom and dad were, or if they will ever have a good home and loving parents to call their own. I'd like to give them that chance."

Lana looked at the picture again and smiled. "They _are_ beautiful, and I'd have to say they look almost like you. You're really serious about this?"

"I'd love nothing more than to give those two kids a home. Of course, there's the issue of finding a house first, but–"

"Let's do it," Lana interjected.

"What?"

"We can go find a house tomorrow. I can leave the kids with Cricket; she's on vacation this week from work. Meanwhile, you can look into the laws down there of what it takes to get the adoption done."

Paul lit up. "You're serious?"

"This obviously means a lot to you, and you're right; there are kids out there that can use loving homes. And if bringing these two into ours makes you happy, then it will make me happy too."

He hugged her "Well, all right! We can get started in the morning then!"


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

"Jesus Christ, are you eating _again?" _Brian asked as he watch a five months pregnant Kim dive into a bag of Cheetos.

"What? I'm hungry," she replied.

"We just had dinner two hours ago."

"You're also forgetting I'm eating for _two_ of us, at least for the remaining four months."

"You sure there's just one kid? The way you've been chowing down lately, I'm wondering if you're carrying around sextuplets or something."

Brian grabbed the bag of Cheetos and inspected it. "Damn, first you kill three hamburgers and half a container of potato salad at dinner, now half a bag of these."

Kim shot him a look. "Since when do _you_ bitch about someone eating all the time? All I ever heard when we went out was how I ate 'bird portions' and if you were paying ten bucks for a buffet, my happy ass better load up a plate or two."

"That was back when you weren't killing half the kitchen," he replied. "Now I'm lucky if there's any condiments left when you get done."

"And to think Lana went through this _twice," _she replied with an evil grin.

"Oh no! You're getting fixed after this one, lady!"

" 'Fixed?' What am I, the cat? Good grief." Kim grabbed back the Cheetos bag. "Give me those."

"Good thing I had that hidden stash," Brian muttered, heading toward the back.

"What hidden stash?" Kim asked.

"For me to know and you to find it," he quipped. "Otherwise, I'd never have anything decent to eat around here while you're in your Ms. Pac Man mode."

"Very funny."

"And don't even think about trying to find it. I move it from place to place just in case it happens to cross that sneaky mind of yours."

"Whatever made you think such a thing?" Kim wondered innocently.

"I know you way too well, Kimberly. Even back when you were working for me you thought you were being slick, but I outsmarted your ass practically every time."

"Well, I certainly won't argue with that part," Kim agreed. "It's never a dull moment with you."


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

"Oh no you did not do that!" Lana said as Kim held up a full pack of Oreos with an evil grin on her face.

"I most certainly did," Kim laughed. "So much for Mr. 'I Can Outsmart You Kimberly.' I found his latest junk food stash. I found a bunch of booze in there too, along with a full carton of cigarettes and a half empty one after the little shit told me he was going to quit smoking."

"Next you'll be saying you found dirty magazines too." Lana couldn't help but laugh.

"Quite a few, as a matter of fact, along with the rest of his porn stash."

"The _rest_ of his porn stash?" Lana raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I think his collection is bigger than Paul's now judging from all the DVD's I found. They filled almost the whole hidden portion of the top of the closet. The funny thing is Shortzilla doesn't even know I'm aware that part of the closet exists."

"Exactly how _did _you find out about it to begin with?"

"I was putting shit away one day when I'd come back from shopping while the guys were away overseas. Anyway, I put some stuff on the top shelf and my hand hit something. This little door came open, and lo and behold, there I was getting clobbered on the head with Brian's porn stash. Of course, I put it back the way it was and played stupid ever since like I didn't know that little hole was there. But it was the first place I thought of today when I went hunting for the junk food stash, and did I hit the jackpot!" She took hefty bites out of a few of the Oreos.

"You know you may be a _dead_ pregnant woman before sunset when Dad gets home, right?" Lana asked.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Kim laughed. "Then again, he may be so crazed out for his cancer sticks that he'll be too busy getting them back to kill me for stealing the food stash. And speaking of crabby people, where's Ricky Ricardo today?"

"Up at the basketball court with Robbie. It was all I could do to shove him out of the house. If he was a woman, I'd swear he was having a permanent period. That man has to be the moodiest person on the face of this earth. I married him again why?"

"You were madly in love and bore his son," Kim reminded her. "And it could be worse; you could have Old Smokey with a very large porn stash for a husband."

"Good point, but at least he isn't grouchy all the time."

"No because he's got both El Prego, Wife From Hell here along with an attack cat that will claw him up if he does."

"Speaking of the cat, aren't you worried about him when the baby comes?"

"If you're concerned about it suffocating the baby, Lana, that's an old wives' tale."

"Actually, I was thinking more of the cat being jealous of the baby. He could do something, you know."

"I'm looking into the declawing thing," Kim nodded. "That and having his teeth filed down a bit. Don't worry, though; he'll get plenty of attention that he won't have time to be jealous of the baby. Who knows, he'll probably hide from it most of the time."

"Good point. So what other treasures do you plan to uncover today?"

"I think I'm pretty well done, since the dusting and that are finished. Kind of fun while it lasted, though. And the Oreos were fresh, too."

.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

Brian stomped through the house later like a bull in a china shop appearing as if he were on a serious hunt.

"Looking for something?" Kim asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"Not really," he responded, looking in a couple of drawers.

"Could have fooled me going through here like you're going through weed withdrawal or something."

"Kim, there's no such thing as withdrawing from weed."

"Should I say _nicotine _then?" she asked with a wicked grin, waving the cigarette cartons. "Perhaps you may need these."

He stopped short, going silent for a moment. _Busted._

"_Where did you find my fucking stash?"_

"As you like to say, for me to know and you to find out. And before I meet my slow and painful death, I also killed the Oreos. Nice you hid the fresh ones, along with the fresh Doritos, the Reese's Cups, and the good Mexican beer."

"Christ, you found that too? I don't believe this shit."

"I left the beer and most of the Doritos. And besides, you said you were going to quit smoking. You just got a bug up the ass because you're busted."

"No, I got a bug up the ass because you don't stay out of my shit."

"What? I wasn't in all of it. Your remaining porn stash and dirty magazines are intact."

A thought came to him. "Okay, Kimberly, exactly _how long _have you known about the little door at the top of the closet?"

"I came across it while straightening up and dusting."

"Bullshit. I know how rabid you can be when you want to find something, and besides, _nobody_ dusts a closet."

Kim rolled her eyes. "Okay, I found it while you guys were overseas a few months back."

"Jesus, is nothing sacred in this house anymore? Maybe I should just start hiding shit at PL's. On second thought, that might not work either, because knowing what cooks in that head of yours, you'd find some way to bribe Red into finding it."

"Yep. I have connections there, sweetheart, provided Danny didn't find it first. You might chat up Denise or Cricket, though."

"Right. And they'd lead you right to the treasure. Nice try, Kimberly. Meanwhile, I'm planning another spot where even you won't figure it out. Now hand over the cigarettes before I sic the attack cat on you."

Kim sighed, handing over the cartons. "I may as well since the jig is up anyway. But don't be doing that shit around the baby when it gets here. Of course, you could always take the porn over to Paul's. He might enjoy pleasuring himself to it and you could get another hot picture out of it."

"Very funny. Just stay out of my stuff unless it says **KIM ALLOWED**, which most likely won't be happening soon, okay?"

"Bring me some fresh junk food and you got yourself a deal, Smokey," she grinned.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

Lana gave Brian a quick peck on the cheek.

"Wow, what do I owe _that _honor?" he grinned, putting a hand to the spot. "And what do we tell PL and Kimberly?"

She laughed. "Actually, that was to thank you for cheering up Grumpy Gertie in there yesterday. He'd done nothing but mope around the past week or so; he had cut off most of the people that care about him. He hadn't even bothered with the kids very much. But since you stood on his ass, he hasn't been such a pain in one since."

"Now you know what I put up with for the last ten years. It's like his whole life is emo."

"You're telling me," Lana agreed.

"Hey, guys," Kim sailed in cheerfully.

"Hey, El Prego, Wife from Hell," Brian joked. "How did getting poked and prodded go?"

"All is well," she answered. "It's a girl. So much for Shortzilla Junior."

"A girl?" Lana asked excitedly. "How sweet!"

"Oh God," Brian groaned. "It isn't enough I have to deal with one female in the house, now there's going to be _two _of you?"

"Hey, I had to deal with two _males_ for a while before Emily was born," Lana reminded them. "One of them an overgrown emo child."

"Oh, yeah," he joked again. "My big Mexican kid you ended up marrying and I still don't know the father's identity."

"I heard that!" Paul called from the next room as they all began to laugh.

"I figured you would," Lana replied. "Where's the kids?"

"Dan's right here with me and Emmy's in her playpen. I had to put her in there because that was the only way I could keep up with the little squirt. Jesus, I don't think I've seen a kid crawl so fast in my life."

"To think we have to look forward to all this," Kim smiled and nodded. "One thing about it, I'll have in-house help in finding hidden stashes too."

Brian perked to attention. "Please _do not _tell me you found the latest one too."

"Oh, I know them all by now," she grinned evilly. "Why didn't you say you got more Cheetos?"

"Because you killed the last fucking bag in one sitting. All right, which one of you two goofs helped her find my stash?"

"The porn or the food?" Paul asked, trying not to laugh.

"There's yet _another_ porn stash?" Kim wondered.

"Yep," Paul said. "The Cheetos were among it, remember?"

"Damn you, PL, I can't believe you betrayed me like that!" Brian cried.

"That's what you get for snitching to Lana about me sneaking cigarettes."

"Served you right," Lana spoke up. "You don't need to be picking up that filthy habit, especially around the kids."

"I don't inhale!" Paul protested.

"Neither did Bill Clinton, but it's disgusting nevertheless."

"If it helps, I know where his stash is too," Kim volunteered before whispering something to Lana.

"Kimbo, you bitch!" Paul bellowed when Lana pulled a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from a hidden spot Kim had directed her.

"These are going right into the trash can," Lana announced, going to the kitchen.

"See what I mean? _Nothing_ is sacred around these women," Brian said. "I'll be glad when Kimberly pops that kid out; at least then she'll be too busy to go on stash hunts."

"Don't count on it," Paul rolled his eyes. "These two could have a whole tribe of kids between them and they'd _still_ make time to go on a hunt."

"Got that right," Kim nodded. "I'm the queen of scavenger hunts."

"And we'd recruit that tribe of kids," Lana added. "The more, the merrier."


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

"I can't believe you would embarrass the hell out of us like that," Kim scolded Brian a couple of days later when the four of them had returned from visiting Kim's parents in Florida.

"What? You told me to _act natural _around your parents, so I did."

"When I meant act natural, I didn't mean like you were raised by wolves. God!"

"Can't say I didn't warn you, Kimbo," Paul spoke up. "He spills all over himself, talks with his mouth full, belches like a truck driver, and lets go of some gas from the other end. You can dress him up, but can't take him out."

"Boy, did I find that out the hard way," Kim nodded.

"Gee thanks, PL; I love you too," Brian retorted.

"Hey, _I'm_ not the one who ripped a big one in front of his in-laws and grandmother in law, then said his mother in law's cooking tasted like dog shit that has been sitting inside of a rat's spleen for two weeks after he puked it up in one of her vases."

"Yeah, Brian," Kim nodded, "nice way to make friends and influence people among your in laws."

"Your dad digs me," he protested.

"Yeah, only he's used to farting very loud in front of Mom and Nana too." She rolled her eyes.

"And your mom's cooking tasted better coming up. Now I know where you get your lack of skills."

"Never complained much before," Kim reminded him.

"Yeah, most people eat about anything when they're hungry, Kimberly."

"Thank goodness my parents are deceased," Lana sighed, jerking a thumb towards Paul. "I'd hate to see what _this one _would do around them."

"I will have you know that even if I'm a hick, I _am_ a gentleman," Paul replied.

"Right, nothing like being a gentleman sitting around in your plaid boxers right when the babysitter showed up."

"She showed up ten minutes early! I was going to put some pants on!"

"Wow, PL, even I never did anything like that," Brian grinned.

"No, _you _were just almost naked near the middle of the party some of the gang threw for us after we got married," Kim responded.

"HA! At least I kept _my_ clothes on at our reception!" Paul shot back.

"Yeah and I bet you couldn't rip them off fast enough along with Red's on your wedding night," Brian replied.

"That's the idea, dude." Paul wiggled his eyebrows.

Kim pointed to her swollen middle. "I think Shortzilla figured that out already."

"Now I just have to figure out the rest of your relatives," Brian grunted. "Got to admit your dad is pretty cool, though."

"Seems everyone is drawn to Dad before anyone else," she nodded.

"Yeah, maybe because your mom seems to have a rod stuck up her ass when she wasn't staring a hole in PL here. And your grandmother? She kept looking at me weird. Do I have a third eye or something?"

"Maybe they were just trying to figure you two out," Lana offered amusingly.

"I got to piss," Brian announced, heading to the bathroom. "Probably Kim's mom's nasty lemonade again."

"TMI." Paul made a face. "But yeah, Kimbo, what was with your mom eying me up?"

"She's got good taste in men? Oh wait, scratch that; she married Dad."

"Or maybe she never saw a real live Mexican dude up close and personal before," Brian called from the bathroom.

"Brian, for fuck's sake, close the door," Paul demanded. "I swear to Christ nobody wants to see or hear you taking a piss. It's bad enough _I_ got to put up with that shit 300 days a year."

"And I got to look at and hear it every freaking day and night," Kim added.

"Shut it," Brian replied, flushing and washing his hands. "Happy now?"

"Thrilled," Paul replied.

"I think that was the one thing he didn't do at my parents' house," Kim shrugged. "Piss with the door open. I was shocked, considering he was a total beast the rest of the time."

"Any time Midget _isn't _a beast, there's something wrong," Paul replied.

"Yeah," Brian grinned mischievously. "Me being a beast keeps life interesting, face it. Kind of like when PL and I go to gay bars when we travel."

"Midget, Jesus!" Paul cried.

Lana gave him a stare. _"What?"_

"Calm down, Red. We only go for free drinks," Brian clarified. "Just walk in holding hands, separate, get a guy to buy us a drink, meet back up. Pretty simple. And your hunka hunka burning love here has no trouble getting dudes to buy him drinks."

"Good lord," Lana groaned.

"Please don't ever let any website get hold of any photos," Paul warned. "A picture of me and dumb ass here holding hands, oh, my rep would tarnish. Especially since we're both married–but not to each other–I have two kids and in the process of adopting two more, and Midget's got a kid about to pop out in a couple of months."

"And Kimberly's mother and grandmother would really bust a vein then," Brian added. "Then again, that might be funny to watch."

"You are one sick freak," Kim shook her head. "Anyway, what does everyone feel like for dinner?"

"Anything that PL is buying and isn't your mother's cooking," Brian answered.

"Wait a minute; why do _I _get stuck buying? You earn more than I do," Paul said.

"Because I paid for Starbucks the last time."

"Jesus. Maybe you ladies better wear something low cut so we can get a discount."

"Yeah, right! Me with my giant belly!" Kim laughed.

"And I'm a little droopy since I had Emily," Lana added. "Besides, you raised hell the last time I wore a tank top without something over it, and we were going to Subway that time."

"I was kidding," Paul replied. "I'm not having people staring at my wife's tits. Period."

"Speaking of Subway," Kim said, "that doesn't sound like a bad idea. I could use a foot long."

"Right in PL's El Cheapo price range too," Brian nodded. "Come on, people let's go feed the pregnant monster here."


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

Lana had been working in the kitchen making dinner for everyone while Kim was setting the table.

Brian walked in, turned up his nose, and made a face. "What in Sam's hell _stinks?" _he asked.

"_Papi _farted," Danny said, not looking up from where he was playing on the floor.

Paul spit out the water he'd been drinking as Kim broke out laughing and ran into the kitchen.

"Where the hell does that boy _get_ this stuff?" Paul wondered. "I did no such thing!"

"Maybe you should check Emmy's diaper then," Brian suggested. "Because something here is fucking rancid. And we're both familiar with the toxic waste _she's _put out from time to time."

"And to think you'll have a shit factory of your own in a couple of months," Paul shot back with a grin. "Besides, she was just changed."

Lana came out of the kitchen. "If you must know, I'm making tuna casserole."

"Oh thank Christ. I thought the next guess would be that Kimberly was taking over your kitchen," Brian replied. "Surely that's going to taste better than it smells, right?"

"No one's complained yet," Lana nodded. "Ask the hairy blob that's parked on the couch, for one."

"I will have you know that I shaved today," Paul spoke up. "I even put some clothes on."

"Wow," Kim looked up. "And the ceiling didn't even cave in as a result. Put this in the books."

"Gee, dude, you didn't have to go through all that trouble for _me. _Even Kim doesn't do that," Brian joked.

"I didn't do it for you, ass wipe," Paul retorted.

"And you try shaving perfectly with a big belly sometime," Kim said, blowing a raspberry.

"Not my fault," Brian said.

"Right, Midget; she's having a kid by immaculate conception," Paul snorted laughingly. "Hey, Lana, think you can bring us some sodas, baby?"

"If your arms and legs work and you can get them yourself, don't you think you should?" Lana asked. "I'm a little busy here."

He gave out a low groan.

"Looks like wifey owned you, dude," Brian laughed. "Go get them."

"You're closer," Paul responded.

"Geez, and you have the balls to say I'm lazy?"

"Just go get them," Paul shook his head. "_Oquela."_

"_Oquela," _Danny repeated.

"Paul Michael, are you teaching that child Spanish cuss words?" Lana called from the kitchen. "I better not be getting any calls from his preschool about that."

"No! I can't help he's picking up shit."

"Shit," Danny echoed.

"**PAUL!" **Lana yelled.

"Dan, come here," Paul said, picking him up. "Listen, it's nice you're learning new words, but there's a few your _papi_ here says that aren't…well, let's just say not very nice. And then your _mami _gets mad if you use them and we're both in trouble. No more bad words. Okay?"

"Oh that will get through to a kid that's almost three," Brian snickered.

"Dude, let me handle this."

"_Oquela," _Danny said.

"Sure, looks like you're doing a sterling job so far, _Papi," _Brian laughed again.

"Butt munch," Paul snorted before turning back to Danny. "Dan, that wasn't nice. No more."

Danny put his arms around him. "_Papi," _he grinned. "Hungry."

"That's better. And _Mami_ should have stuff ready in a minute. As for earlier, I did not fart. That's _Mami's_ casserole you smelled."

"_Mami_ fart?"

Paul broke out laughing. "No, buddy, she's cooking what we're about to have for dinner. I think you've been hanging out with Uncle Midget too long. You're starting to think like him."

"Oh sure, blame the short blond guy when your kid gets corrupted," Brian replied, handing him a soda. "How come nobody ever blames the Mexican dude?"

"Because you're an easier target," Paul joked. "And I'm better looking."

"Get the shovels, it is getting deep in here," Kim said, helping Lana bring some things to the table.

"I don't recall asking anything from Iel embarazada/I section."

"Too bad, you got it anyway," Kim laughed back. "Anyway, time to gather around the feed bag."

"Can one of you guys grab Emily?" Lana called.

"Way ahead of you, Red," Brian replied. "I have the little princess right here. Now, let's have PL take the first bite, and if it really does taste better than it smelled and doesn't kill him, then we'll all know it's safe to eat."

"Remember that the next time you plead for your life when I decide to slit your throat," Paul replied.

"Never happen, dude. You need me as much as I do you, and you know it. Let's eat."


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

"Kim's looking all weird and shit," Brian announced to Lana the following morning.

"What do you mean?" Lana wondered. "Or is this you being a smart ass again?"

"No, she's going around here saying her back hurts and she looks kind of wiped out."

"Good lord. Has she called the doctor?"

"Last time this stuff happened, we went to the hospital and they sent her home."

"Well, judging from experience, it sounds like labor. You better either call someone or take her to the emergency room PDQ."

"She isn't due for a little over a month yet."

"I didn't exactly have my two when I was supposed to either. Go get Kim to the hospital, even if you have to drag her there kicking and screaming. And knowing you, I can assure you're perfectly capable of _that."_

"Okay, but if she kills my ass on the way or they send her home, this one is on _you."_

_Later that day:_

"Anything yet?" Paul asked.

"Would I be sitting here nearly shitting razor blades if I'd heard anything?" Lana asked back in response.

"I suppose not, but Jesus, you'd think someone would have let us know even the smallest thing by now."

"I guess so. I'm trying to think that no news is good news, but in this situation, I'm not so sure."

"Anyway, while we're in waiting hell, I wanted to bring you up to speed on the adoption thing."

"But we haven't even found a house yet," Lana protested.

"That's part of what I wanted to bring you up to date on. Do you remember that nice place with the twelve acres we saw about a mile out from the creek?"

"Yeah, you said the asking price was too high for it. Why?"

"I will have you know that The Big Mexican Charmer here managed to talk them down to something more reasonable."

"Let me guess, the real estate person was a woman," she teased.

"No, actually it was a gay dude. I think he had a man crush."

"Whatever the case, what's going on with that?"

"Long story short, it's ours. Just have to sign the paperwork and we have ourselves a house and can get out of apartment hell."

"That's terrific!" Lana smiled broadly.

"Think about it; our tribe of kids and Midget's spawn can have twelve whole acres to run around and make all the noise they want, you can plant flowers, vegetable gardens and whatever else you like, I can go around outside without a shirt whenever I feel like it and not have to deal with some old hags bitching about me being that way, not to mention I can crank my music."

"Oh God," Lana groaned. "Girlie music. Talk about a living hell."

"Emmy likes it."

"Paul, she's ten months old. She doesn't know any better."

"Never too early to expose them to culture," he replied with a goofy grin.

"Good grief." Lana rolled her eyes. "So what's the latest on the adoption?"

"Should have a final decision in a few weeks, but from the sounds of things, it's looking good."

"You mean we'll get Jorge and Juliana?"

"Can't say for sure yet, but it sure looks that way. Don't start celebrating just yet, though, until we have a firm answer."

Lana nodded just as the phone rang. "Right. Would you get that?" she asked. "I need to check on a couple of kids; it's gotten way _too _quiet back there for comfort."

"Yeah. Might finally be dipshit with some news."

"Well, let's hope it's good for their sake," Lana replied before she went to check on the kids.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

"What took you so damn long to call?" Paul asked. "Lana and I have been worried sick. How's Kimbo?"

"You won't believe it. She just had the kid," Brian said.

"But wasn't she due…." Paul began.

"Yeah. Baby's kind of small, but amazingly, she's healthy. Briana. I am so the king."

"I am sure Kimbo would beg to differ. So everything's good then?"

"Well, yeah, except one thing."

Paul was alarmed. "What?"

"Um…..I kind of passed out in there. They're keeping me here a little longer to make sure everything is okay."

"You mean to tell me Mr. Tough Dude there actually….?" Paul couldn't finish the question. He burst out laughing. Thinking about the situation was just too funny not to laugh.

"I'm glad you find this all amusing, PL," Brian snorted.

Lana came out after seeing the kids were fine. "Who are you talking to and what in Sam's hell is so funny?"

Paul tried in vain to catch his breath. "Kimbo had the baby…Briana…they're both okay…but Midget passed out in the delivery room!"

"Paul, that is _not_ funny," she said sternly, taking the receiver as he still howled with laughter. "Give me that."

Lana spoke into the phone. "My apologies for my husband being a total dickhead. Are you all right?"

"I think I'll live, Red. And I actually thought I was prepared for this."

"Don't worry about it; it happens to the best of people. So how are Kim and the baby?"

"Pretty good, I must say. Nobody's going to be able to see Briana but us for a few days, but yeah, things seem smooth so far. She's only four pounds, though."

"That isn't too bad," Lana agreed. "Usually they keep babies until they reach five. She doesn't have far to go."

"Yeah. They're kicking Kimberly out tomorrow, though."

"Oh yes, drive thru delivery; I'm certainly familiar with that. I could pick her up if you like."

"Nah, I got it covered, but thanks for the thought, Red. Tell The Mexican Asshole I'll be down in about half an hour to kick his ass."

"Will do, but be warned he could be dead before you get here," Lana said, glaring at her husband again before hanging up.

She then went over and gave Paul a healthy slap on the head.

"**WHAT?" **he cried, rubbing the spot.

"That's for being a jackass," Lana replied. "I can't believe in what is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of their lives, you had to laugh like a hyena at poor Brian for fainting. He couldn't help it. You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

"Okay, but did you have to practically knock my head off in the process? Jesus."

"You're lucky I didn't slice off your dick and feed it to you. For Pete's sake, were you raised by wolves or something?"

"I'm hairy enough," he joked.

"Quit being a smart ass. I can almost guarantee had the tables been turned and _he'd_ done that to _you_, you would have thrown a hissy fit like an old woman. By the way, he's going to be here in about half an hour."

"Oh good. This will really be fun."

"You try anything else that you think is hilarious, not only will I let Brian knock the hell out of you while I watch, you also won't be getting sex tonight."

"Wow, that's class. Why is it every time women get pissed, they withold the nooky?"

"It's the nature of the beast. But seriously, can you please be a little more compassionate when he gets here? I think he was a little shaken by that episode. Just because you didn't pass out when our kids were born doesn't mean you have to act like a moron."

"Okay, I'll be nice." He gave a goofy grin. "But only because I can get some tonight."

"I'm still thinking about that part," she teased before they were interrupted by Danny.

"_Mami!" _he cried. "Emmy!"

Both of them bolted upright, alarmed. "What about Emily, honey?" Lana asked.

Danny nodded, eyes wide. "Come look!"

"Oh God," Lana sighed as the two of them followed Danny and she feared the worst.

But Danny showed them something different. Emily had pulled herself up and fascinated by her new position, was trying to move.

"See?" Danny asked, excited.

"Damn…is she trying to.." Paul began.

"Walk," Lana finished. "I have a feeling we're going to have an early one before long."

"Holy hell….and this couldn't happen at a better time. Wait till Spanky sees this, provided he doesn't pass out again when he does."

Lana punched his arm. "Cut it out. Now make yourself useful and go get the video camera."


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

A few weeks after Briana was born, Paul had barged into the house like a bull in a china shop and waving a large envelope like a third grader that had gotten an A plus on his math test.

"Will you pipe down?" Lana asked, annoyed. "Briana's here while Kim and Brian had to do errands and she and Emily are napping."

"Shhhh, _Papi!" _Danny repeated. "Baby and Emmy sleeping!"

"Ah, perfect, while on the subject of kids," he replied. "It is now official."

Lana stopped short. "What?"

"We are once again expectant parents."

"_We got Jorge and Juliana?" _she asked excitedly, careful not to be too loud.

"Yes. And on top of that, we're closing on the house Thursday before I leave for New Mexico. But there is a snag in one of these."

Lana's heart sank a little. "What?"

"The kids don't speak English. They're being taught at the orphanage now by some missionary, especially once it became known the twins were being adopted by an American couple, one of us _not_ fluent in Spanish."

"And of course, you had to gloat about that fact."

"Hey, I did it for your own good, unless you want them yammering and you can't understand a damn thing they're saying. And I'm not exactly going to be here all the time to play interpreter."

"Yeah, good point," Lana said. "So when are they due to arrive?"

"Probably three weeks to a month. There's some other red tape yet and then the kids being taught English. But they're definitely ours; I can say that for sure."

Noises on the baby monitor interrupted them. "Sounds like somebody's awake. It sounds like Briana."

"Stay there; let me go get Mini Midget," Paul offered, referring to the name he'd given Briana, who had been a spitting image of her father.

"I was just about to mention that," Lana nodded. "You've always been good at quieting Briana since Kim brought her home."

"She does, doesn't she? Kind of weird; Dad holds her, she screams. Then again, if I was that size and had a creature like Spanky looking back at me, I'd scream too." He began to laugh.

"Paul, that's just mean. He's that little girl's father."

"I was joking. Jesus."

"Go get the baby," Lana ordered. "She might be hungry."

Things were quiet for a few minutes before she heard Paul over the monitor.

"Oh, lucky me," he groaned. "I get to change my goddaughter's first shitty diaper."

Lana restrained herself from laughing; from the experiences with both Danny and Emily, she knew very well how squeamish Paul could be about diaper changes.

Good thing Jorge and Juliana were well past that stage, she thought.

"You better not be out there laughing, wifey," he warned.

"I'm not. Just get her changing pad and stuff," she replied, still working to hold back giggles. "Kim left everything by the crib."

Paul sighed, laying Briana down on the changing pad and unsnapped her onesie. "You know, I am so going to get your dad for this," he told her, staring at the diaper, not even wanting to open it and _know_ what she had done.

Holding his breath, he reached out and pulled open the tabs before opening up the diaper, with the smell magnifying tenfold.

"Jesus Christ!" Paul howled. "There's no question that this one is Spanky's issue! She smells about as bad! _Sabes que, Brian's _let off some stinking shit, but the contents of this diaper could be used for weapons of mass destruction!"

"Can you change that baby without making a huge production out of it?" Lana asked, finally letting go the bottled up laughter.

"God, this is fucking disgusting," he continued as he cleaned up Briana, changed her and put the onesie back in place. "I don't even remember my two smelling this bad and they're half Mexican. What the hell is Spanky giving this kid? He must be trying to kill us all."

"He's not giving her anything, unless he has a talent for nursing we know nothing about."

"Then it must be something lethal in Kimbo's tit. _Oquela. _I'm taking this thing to the nearest toxic waste dump. I'll be back in a few."

"Stinky," Danny said, holding his nose.

"Yeah, _hijo, _you aren't kidding. Now you know why your mother's tubes are tied. Jesus."

Lana shook her head, chuckling as she watched him go out the door to the nearest Dumpster. She couldn't wait for Kim and Brian to return and hear about this one.


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

"It's like…boxed hell in here," Paul complained as he and Brian unpacked cartons about a month later at the new house. Kim and Lana had been working upstairs, where Briana was sleeping, while Danny and Emily played downstairs.

"I hope so, dude," Brian replied, "it just came from your old place. How in the fuck did you fit all of this shit in that apartment anyway?" He peered into another box. "Oh, never mind; looks like most of this crap is _yours."_

"Yeah, and most of it was in the closet while we lived there. Anything else you'd like to be a smart ass about?"

"Not really, at least not yet."

"Remind me for us to check the site a bit later now that the cable is on and we got internet service again," Paul added. "They're having the supplemental draft today, and it would be nice to know where our asses are ending up this year."

"In dark match hell, where else?"

"I meant what _brand_, dumb ass."

"I knew that. But it seems all we've done lately are bullshit dark matches and house shows. When _was_ the last time we were on TV anyway?"

"I think about a month ago. And you're right; it's fucking ridiculous. Maybe our luck will change today."

"I hope to Christ so."

The women had come downstairs; the ever-present baby monitor in Kim's jeans pocket.

"Any progress up there?" Paul asked.

Lana nodded and smiled. "Well, the twins' room is ready for sure."

"And it's magnificent," Kim agreed. "Jorge and Juliana will love it."

"Yeah, anything would beat the hell out of an orphanage," Brian replied.

Lana then looked around for a moment, not seeing Emily. "Danny, where's your sister?"

"Don't know," he replied, not looking up from what he was doing. "Emmy go other way."

"Paul, you were supposed to keep an eye on these two," she sighed. "Especially now that Emily's walking. She could be anywhere."

"I was," he whined. "I can't help she moves so damn fast."

"Kind of like you," Lana responded. "Now I have to search for a lost child."

"Not exactly," Brian said, pulling a laughing Emily out of an empty box that had been tossed aside. "I think a certain little blue eyed Mexican was trying to pack herself again."

"Oh dear lord," Lana chuckled, taking her daughter. "Come here, you. You're coming upstairs with us girls. As for you two, keep an eye on Danny and quit goofing off. We can be done with this a lot faster, and we don't have much time before Jorge and Juliana are released to come here. I want everything ready when they arrive in a few days."

"Yessum," Paul nodded, also eager to get "boxed hell" out of the way.

"And _who_ has the balls in your marriage again?" Brian asked him, only to be rewarded with a smack on the head.

"You heard Lana. Quit fucking around. We got to get this stuff unpacked and the place ready before the kids get here."

_Upstairs:_

Lana had put Emily in a playpen, where the girl began to fuss a little.

"I know, sweetheart," Lana said, kissing Emily's dark head. "You don't like this thing much, but it's the only way I can keep an eye on you and not worry about you falling down the stairs or climbing in something you shouldn't."

"She's awful active for her age, isn't she?" Kim asked, putting some clothes in a closet in the master bedroom.

"I know. I don't remember Danny developing this quickly as a baby. I know girls are supposed to develop faster than boys, but she's just a little dynamo."

"Kind of like her dad," Kim nodded.

"Yeah, you could say that. One of _him_ is enough, of course."

"Talk about an _overgrown_ kid."

"Sure," Lana agreed. "It's like I have three kids instead of two sometimes, one of them two hundred pounds."

"I got two myself," Kim laughed. "One of them last weighed in at 172 pounds, and the other a little over eight pounds. Of course, all the big kid has done is complain that that little one doesn't do anything but 'eat, sleep and shit all day.' She's a month old; what did he expect?"

"I guess they're supposed to come out fighting at birth," Lana shook her head.

Kim laughed again, opening another box. "Oh my God!"

"What?"

"_Paul's_ underwear in here! Geez. I just saw your husband's drawers up close and personal. Excuse me while I go bleach my eyes."

"Good lord, Kim; they're just boxers," Lana laughed. "Give me that carton."

"Be my guest. Eww. It's enough I have to look at Brian's shit every day."

Lana unpacked the box, putting them in a separate drawer. When she reached the bottom, she stopped, glancing at things that _weren't _underwear.

"What's wrong?" Kim asked.

"Boxers and socks weren't the only thing in here when he packed this box from his drawer. And some man is about to get his ass chewed. I'll be right back."

_A few minutes later:_

"**PAUL MICHAEL!" **Lana screeched

"_What?" _he responded back.

"Why do I have the feeling your ass is in trouble?" Brian asked.

"Beats me; I don't even know what the hell I did."

Lana came closer with some items in her hand. "Any of this look familiar?"

"Dude, isn't that some of the porn stash from the bottom of your underwear drawer that was at the apartment?" Brian asked.

"Spanky, shut up!"

"Exactly what it is," Lana answered, "which he said he threw away after we got married."

"Most of it," Paul said with a slight whine.

"Evidently not _all _of it," Lana said sternly. "You should be lucky I found this and not one of the kids, especially once Jorge and Juliana got here. It's going to the Dumpster right now."

"Aw, come on, babe; that's my best shit!"

"Well, your 'best shit' is best suited for the Dumpster. I will not have this trash around while there are children in our house. My God, Paul; where is your common sense?"

"Apparently in his dick," Brian quipped.

"Spanky, zip it," Paul said in a warning tone.

"Mine's zipped, dude." Brian patted his crotch. "It's _yours_ that is causing a problem with your wife."

"You're really pushing it, boy."

"In any case," Lana cut in, "no more of this in the house. If you need dirty movies that bad, either get them off the Internet or go to one of your buddies' houses."

"All right; don't open a vein. Jesus." Paul rolled his eyes.

"Remind me to give you lessons on how to hide porn," Brian said, snickering.

"Yeah, you do it so well, Kimbo finds yours every time."

"She won't now," Brian replied. "I mixed them in with the rest of the DVD's. Just seeing Kim pull one out by accident and listening to her scream is priceless. Best entertainment since the kid doesn't do anything but sleep, shit, and yell."

"Spanky, that baby's been in the world a little over a month. She's not going to just pop up and do a super kick. Jesus. Briana will be about six months old before she really does start the cute stuff. Then you'll bitch because you can't keep up."

"No, I'll probably do a lot of that when she's sixteen."

"Yeah, " Paul agreed. "That's when the real challenge will begin. When they're teenagers."


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

"We are so fucked," Brian groaned that afternoon.

"How the hell are we going to break this to the girls?" Paul asked. "Kimbo's going to open a fucking vein when she finds out. And I don't even want to begin to _know_ how Lana's going to take this."

"Dude, why did they have to split us? Of all damn people, they break up the longest-reigning WWE Tag Team Champions in history? Christ!"

"Yeah," Paul snorted. "God fucking forbid they split up Finlay and Hornswoggle, but they can split up friends of **TEN FUCKING YEARS**. So many fans loved us as a team."

"I can tell. People on fan boards are having a total shit fit; check it out. Some chick just posted a long ass rant blog about it. I guess we're not the only ones pissed off."

"Apparently not. Now I'm going to have to room with some assclown on the road. And God knows what dickhead you're going to be stuck with."

"We should have seen this coming after doing dark match hell for a month. But it's still a shock."

"I know, Spank. And it sucks ass. If it weren't for Lana and the kids, I'd jump off the second floor balcony right now."

"I'd join you, but I got Kimberly and a mini midget to think about."

"Yeah. So how we breaking this to the girls?"

"The only way possible, PL. We give it to them straight. They're going to find out anyway, so we may as well say something up front."

"Say what up front?" Kim wondered as she and Lana sailed in the door. "The kids okay?"

"Yeah, they're fine and all asleep," Paul nodded solemnly.

"What's wrong?" Lana asked. "Both of you look like someone died."

"Someone did as of three o'clock this afternoon Eastern time," Brian sighed. "Us as a tag team."

"**WHAT?" **Kim cried. "They can't do that!"

"They can," Paul said. "And did."

"Who the hell got that hairbrained idea?"

"The company dumb asses, who else? It seems the last few months or so, all we've done was get screwed. And now here is the final nail in the coffin," Brian grunted.

"Isn't it funny how in one minute, your entire life can change?" Paul asked.

"Yes, and this isn't even funny. What are you going to do from here?" Lana wondered.

"Eh. Fuck this. Fuck everything."

"You're not thinking of quitting, are you?" Lana asked, a little alarmed.

"I just might."

"But this is your dream, your life's goal! You're just going to throw it all away because of one setback? Oh no, mister, you aren't going down that easy! I know you too well. But I will say whatever decision you make, you have my full support."

He stopped short. "Yeah?"

"Yes."

"You wouldn't raise hell if I decided to resign? I'm not thinking it right now, but if I decided to?"

"Of course not. It isn't like I've never struggled before. The important thing is what makes _you_ happy. I'm not going anywhere."

"Ditto for me. Besides, someone needs to kick Shortzilla's ass and keep him in line since PL isn't going to be around that often," Kim said with a reassuring smile. "I guess I can manage that."

"Yeah, and that will be plenty, being it's probably the likely scenario that I'll be fed to guys like Hunter or Big Daddy V now," Brian said, shuddering a little.

"And I'm still either counting floor tiles backstage or still stuck in dark match hell," Paul added. "The total height of our careers. Jesus."

"I'm sure something good can come out of all of this," Lana said. "As they say, things happen for a reason."

"Yeah. Only we're still trying to figure out that reason along with everyone else that followed our run. When you find an answer, let us all know, will you? I'll be upstairs."

Lana sighed. "Great, an evening of moody man hell in the new house. I just hope all of this passes by the time the twins get here."


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53**

Over the next few days, Lana had hoped the twins arriving from Mexico would put an end of Paul's moping around; before the draft, he had been talking about them since the first time he'd laid eyes on Jorge and Juliana at the orphanage the last time he'd toured Mexico.

Damn, Lana had thought, the guys being separated in the draft couldn't have come at a worse time. They'd just gotten settled in the new house and the twins were due to arrive in the US any day. The last thing those kids needed was their new _papi _having a long face.

Lana made the best of the situation as much as she could, putting finishing touches on the house and getting some clothes for the twins once she'd learned their sizes from the nuns who ran the orphanage.

In between, she was also busy with the children she already had, enrolling Danny in the upcoming fall session for preschool and getting Emily her immunizations, among other things.

"You know, you could at least make an effort to be a little more cheerful," she told Paul once she'd brought Emily back from the doctor. "We have two beautiful kids arriving in a couple of days. They were practically all you talked about for months."

"Yeah," he sighed. "But this other thing is total bullshit. The idiots know there was four months left on a JOINED contract, so we could sue them for splitting us up and probably make a fortune. But if they use Midget to the best of his ability, which he has a lot of, I might be nice and let it slide. If not, some legal action will be taken. You better believe it."

"Well, let's just see what happens before anyone goes completely nuts," she replied.

"Sure, but he better not be jobbing within a week. _I_ don't even care what they do with me; I'll job, I don't give a flying fuck. But if this split was for nothing and Midget jobs, there will be hell to pay."

"At least you got a good attitude about your own situation anyway."

Paul then looked at all the bags. "What's all that shit?" he asked.

"Did you forget? Your next two children are due any day. I got them some clothes."

"What, a whole closet full? Did you leave anything at the mall?"

"They're basic things the kids will probably need; they probably haven't had anything new since they've grown up in the orphanage. I want them to start off right."

He peered in a couple of the bags. "Yeah, but you didn't have to go all out."

"Anyway, I'm going to take these up to their room for now and put them away. I got their sizes from the nuns, so everything should fit all right."

"_You called Mexico?" _he asked.

"Relax, it was only for about two minutes and the call was made in off peak time."

"Oh. Well, maybe I can excuse that then."

"I just can't believe they're going to be here so soon, after all this time of waiting."

"Me neither. And you're right; I haven't been all that easy to be around the last few days. Let me help you take this stuff upstairs and we can put it away together. And to think we hadn't even planned on any more kids."

Lana nodded, smiling. "The only difference this time will be that the diaper and two AM feeding phase is already long past."

_The Twins:_

Jorge and Juliana had never really known life outside of the orphanage where they had spent most of their five years of existence. Many prospective couples from both Mexico and other countries had come and gone, but they either had no interest in considering twins or they just wanted to take Jorge, who showed early promise of being a big, strapping boy.

Fortunately, the nuns refused to separate them; usually, they had no problem dividing up siblings to prospective families–especially siblings in large families–but they had drawn the line at breaking up Jorge and Juliana, given that they were twins.

Jorge too didn't want to be separated from his sister. He and Juliana had been together from birth, neither ever knowing their real parents. Their father had taken off and their mother had died during childbirth. No other relatives were ever found to take care of the twin babies, hence them being placed in the orphanage.

There had also been the issue of the twins neither understanding nor speaking English, a barrier to the few that had initially expressed interest in adoption. If they had gone to a home, it would have to be either that of a couple fluent in Spanish or someone obtaining an interpreter.

They had been good kids, giving the nuns little to no trouble and quietly accepting their fate that pending a miracle, there wouldn't be much of a life for them outside of the orphanage until they reached adulthood.

Jorge and Juliana's miracle finally came in the form when several WWE Superstars had visited the orphanage during their last tour of Mexico. Though many had given attention to the other children there, one had spied the twins and came over to them.

_Paul._

Jorge had taken to him immediately despite the possible language barrier, while Juliana had shied away-at least at first. But when he had begun speaking to them in Spanish, they had warmed to him even more to the point that had clung to him like leeches by the end of the visit.

Though he and Lana hadn't planned on any more children after Emily was born, Paul had fallen in love with the twins and hated to leave them as much as they did letting him go. One way or another, he told them, he would be back for them.

When he had shown the picture he had taken with them to Lana, she too couldn't say no.

Months later, when Jorge and Juliana had been informed cheerfully by the nuns that they were being adopted by an American couple that wanted _both_ of them very much, their hearts had sunk at first, thinking the kind man that had spoken their language hadn't come back after all.

Their dismay changed to pure joy when they discovered that Paul _had. _He and his wife were going to be their new _mami _and _papi. _And they would have a brother and sister. From there, they were excited about going to America and their new family.

The nuns, however, told them they would have to learn English in order to communicate with their _mami_ and siblings, even with the effort Paul had made to make sure Danny and Emily would also grow up bilingual.

A missionary from Tennessee happily took on the job and the twins seemed to be learning the strange new language quickly. Soon, the nuns were ready to release them to their new family.

And now in a few days, they would leave the orphanage forever they had called home for five years. For the first time in their young lives, someone had indeed kept a promise to them.


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

Jorge and Juliana had arrived one Friday morning as schedule; as by sheer luck, Paul wasn't scheduled for a show that weekend, allowing him to accompany Lana and the kids to the airport to await the twins'arrival.

The twins had never flown on a plane and it was just one of many new experiences they would have. It had been frightening at first, but then each had gradually began to enjoy their plane right, especially Jorge, who always had a small adventurous streak to him anyway.

When they arrived, it hadn't taken long for both Jorge and Juliana to recognize Paul, but at the same time, were shocked to see the woman who would be their _mami. _

Both knew from both the missionary that had taught them English and the nuns who ran the orphanage that their new _mami_ spoke little Spanish, but they had had no idea that though they would have a _papi_ of Mexican descent like themselves, their _mami_ was a white woman.

While Jorge and Juliana grabbed each of Paul's legs and cried, "_Papi!", _Jorge couldn't take his eyes off Lana and the two small children that accompanied her.

Danny stared back, his young mind unable to process what was happening in front of him, wondering why these two strange children was calling _his_ father their _papi_ even though Paul and Lana had given the best effort possible to prepare him for today.

"Danny," Lana chided him gently while balancing Emily. "It isn't nice to stare."

Jorge's staring wasn't lost on Paul. "_¿Su nueva mami es una señora bonita, no es ella?" _he asked, chuckling.

"_Sí," _the boy replied, nodding.

"_Recuerde, Jorge, usted y Juliana también necesidad de hablar inglés alrededor de Mami," _Paul reminded him.

"What did you just say to that child about me?" Lana wondered, glaring.

"Relax, sweetheart," Paul laughed. "I was just asking Jorge if he thought his new _mami _was a pretty lady and reminding him that and he and his sister need to also speak English around you."

She nodded, still giving him a look. "All right."

"Trust me, it wasn't anything dirty. What kind of guy do you think I am?"

"Sometimes, it's hard to tell with you."

They arrived at the car, Lana putting Danny and Emily in their respective car seats while Paul strapped in the twins. When they began to protest to the strange things being on them, he gently reassured them that it was all right, that children their age had to wear seat belts.

This was a new type of car for them, not like the vehicle the nuns had taken them in back in Mexico. While Danny and Emily had fallen asleep, Juliana looked out the window, fascinated with the passing scenery and things she and her twin brother had never seen before, chattering to each other excitedly in Spanish.

"_Usted dos," _Paul reminded them, "_En inglés, por favor."_

"Paul, if they want to talk in Spanish, it's perfectly all right," Lana replied, understanding what was said that time. "Let them be comfortable."

"Okay, fine for now, but they're going to need to be reminded to do it," he answered, "especially when I'm not around to interpret. And there's the issue of when they go to kindergarten."

"We can worry about kindergarten when it happens," she smiled. "Right now, let's just concentrate on letting them get used to their surroundings first."

It was a long drive to the house, and Lana too had eventually dozed off. While she did so, Jorge, still fascinated with her, had leaned forward and lightly touched Lana's radiant auburn hair with wonder.

"_Hermosa," _he whispered to Juliana.

"_Sí," _Juliana responded, nodding eagerly.

Paul shook his head and chuckled, not missing what had been going on. Perhaps his wife was right; the kids should get used to their new life first. They had a lot to explore and discover, and he vowed to make sure to be part of their lives as much as possible and help them adjust. But what he was seeing so far, it wasn't going to be a difficult transition.


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55**

"Those two kids could pass for being actually _yours_, dude," Brian joked as they all watched the twins and Danny playing in the spacious backyard as Emily entertained herself in the playpen. "You sure you aren't holding out on us about something?"

Lana began to laugh. "Brian!"

Paul smacked his head. "Very fucking funny."

"Another case in point that my husband has absolutely _no_ shame," Kim replied, cradling Briana.

"Damn right." Brian lit a cigarette.

"Dude," Paul reminded him, "_Ningún fumar alrededor de los niños."_

"What? They're clear out in the yard."

"But Emmy and your own mini midget are right here. Were you born in a barn?"

"Well, apparently Jesus was."

"Don't get smart unless you want another crack on the head, Midget."

"Okay, okay, I'll put it out."

"You know, I've noticed Jorge and Danny are getting along so well," Kim spoke as she observed the two boys play wrestling, squeals and laughter coming from both of them.

"Yes, after the initial stare down at the airport when Jorge and Juliana first came here, I was a little concerned at first," Lana responded. "But then some kids down the street were teasing Danny the other morning and Jorge went after them. Of course, he told them off in Spanish, but I was able to catch some of what was said; basically if they knew better, to leave his little brother alone."

"Judging from Jorge's size, I think they'll know better from now on," Kim nodded.

"That and he and Danny have been practically inseperable since," Lana added. "I was thinking Danny was getting bored with his sister, even if she is big enough to do cute things now. Now if he'd quit poking at her, I may accomplish something."

"I've been working on that," Paul spoke up. "Of course, it doesn't help having Juli poke him back when he pokes Emmy. So now I have two pokers to deal with."

"Sounds like Emily's got a big sister to stick up for her huh?" Kim asked.

"Yeah, but Juli needs to learn a better way of doing it. '_Papi, _Danny's poking the baby again', _'Papi, _Juli poked me too!', _'Papi, _Juli keeps looking at me,' and _'Papi, _Danny's pulling my hair!' gets a little old after awhile. And don't get me started on how the two of them and Jorge chase each other through the house before Lana has to remind them to do that shit outside. Jesus. When do preschool and kindergarten start again?"

"September," Lana answered. "And while you're sitting there complaining, remember _you_ wanted to have these kids."

"What the hell was I thinking?"

"Add to the fact I'm also stuck with them more often than you are."

"Too late now, dude," Brian added. "You're basically stuck with them until they're at least eighteen."

"As are you with the mini midget over there," Paul pointed out, indicating Briana.

"Yeah, and I'm stopping at that little shit factory. I made the decision the other day after she pissed on me that she's going to be an _only_ child."

"Bullshit," Kim replied. "In another few years, you'll be running your trap that Briana needs a brother or sister."

Lana nodded. "Danny was going to be an only child too, and now look at us. First me having Emily, and then _this one _getting the idea of adopting Jorge and Juliana."

"You agreed to it," Paul said with a slight whine.

"And you know Mexicans tend to like large families," Brian grinned.

"You know you're getting closer to having your ass kicked, right, Spanky?"

"Shit. I can whoop yours right back. That's hardly a threat."

"Right. Just like I kicked your ass in Beat the Clock last year."

"Fuck you, PL," Brian replied. "That match ended in a draw."

"Oh God, here we go again. It's like being married to two overgrown boys. 'I can kick your ass.' 'No, I can kick yours.' And yes, that match did end in a draw," Lana said. "Sometimes you two are worse than the kids."

They were then interrupted by a loud screech coming from Danny.

"Speaking of wrestling matches, I think some big boy is getting a bit rough," Kim said with a grimace.

"Jorge!" Paul bellowed. "Easy, bub. Dan's little. _Sea apacible."_

"_Lo siento, Papi," _Jorge called back, letting up on Danny. "Are you okay, Danny? I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Uh huh," Danny nodded. "Let's go play in the sandbox!"

Juliana skipped up. "_Mami, _can I take Emmy in the yard?"

"All right, but only if you watch her and no horseplay," Lana answered, pulling Emily from the playpen.

"I will. _Gracias, Mami."_

"She's also too big for you to be carrying around. Let her walk a bit and make sure the boys don't get rough around her."

"And no poking your little brother," Paul warned. "We're not going through this again tonight."

"Okay. Come on, Emmy, let's go play."

"Ah, the joy of parenthood," he groaned, leaning his head back.

"Dude, phone's ringing," Brian said.

"Shit. Who the hell would be calling this time of day?"

"Answer it and you'll find out," Lana quipped.

He did, speaking to the person on the other end for a few minutes before hanging up.

"Well what do you know," he said. "I haven't been forgotten about after all. I have a dark match tomorrow night. Guess it's back to hell, but it beats counting floor tiles over and over."


	56. Chapter 56 CONCLUSION

**Chapter 56**

It could have been worse; jobbing at house shows and dark matches beat the hell out of not having a job at all. Though neither guy was happy with their present position, they had enough intelligence and common sense to know that there was plenty of talent out there in the independents that would die and kill to get into the spots that they held, so each of them basically kept quiet and took their lumps.

As the years went by, both men would retire and go on to train younger talent by opening their own school. In the interim, Lana had also opened her own temporary employment agency for women who had beaten addictions and were looking to get back into the job market. Kim and Cricket had been her administrative assistants when Kim wasn't operating Spanky's Place, a popular, wrestling-themed bar and grill.

Jorge and Juliana grew into brilliant, beautiful children; Jorge had already been looked at by WWE scouts while in college, but he had eschewed wrestling for a lucrative position as a translator at the US Embassy once he graduated and gone on to earn a Master's degree in international studies.

He would also travel back to Mexico in his spare time to teach English to the children at the same orphanage where he and Juliana had been raised the first five years of their lives before that fateful day Paul had seen them for the first time and eventually adopted them.

Juliana went on to medical school after college, earning her M.D. and graduating at the top of her class. After completing her residency in pediatrics at Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh, she returned south, where she divided her career practicing at Seton Medical Center in Austin and donating her services to poor children in Mexico, sometimes accompanying Jorge on his trips to the orphanage.

A cable station producer would pick up Juliana's works, eventually airing a documentary, _Juliana London, M.D. _The documentary depicted her career as a physician in both the posh settings of an American hospital and some of the Mexican slums where she visted and treated children for free that would otherwise not receive proper medical care.

As a result of the documentary, Juliana became a household name and referrals to her were almost overwhelming. Still, she loved helping children from all walks of life, even if their parents couldn't afford to pay, and there was always room for one more child.

Though neither would ever marry, both had dated others and enjoyed lives as busy career people. When asked why Juliana never married, she would laugh and say she was–to her career as a doctor. Jorge would also give the same answer. It was a private joke between the twins.

Danny would follow in his grandfather's footsteps and became an attorney, but going into the criminal field instead. He had started out in small cases first; petty thefts, minor assaults, low-level drug charges and other cases that didn't gather much attention.

But he had hit the big time as an assistant district attorney when his name had come up next on the hopper to prosecute a high-profile murder case. The jokes had gone around the office as to how ADA London was "going to wrestle this one," especially when Danny would be facing one of the toughest defense attorneys that had yet to lose a case.

But the laughing and jokes ceased when Danny had won a conviction against the defendant and the killer sentenced to a life term without parole. The Cruiserweight record-holding Tag Team Champion's kid had shown them all, and from there, he was taken more seriously as a prosecutor, gathering more high profile and tough cases. His days of petty theft and prostitution cases were over.

He would meet his wife, Elana, also of Mexican-American descent, during one of those trials. She had been a defense attorney that had had battled it out in open court several times against Danny, only to develop feelings for one another outside of it.

After a year of dating, Elana and Danny married in a lavish ceremony (that Paul yelled about the cost, of course, but Lana managed to placate him) and shortly after their second wedding anniversary, Elana gave birth to their daughter, Danielle Lana.

Emily had been the only one of the four children that aspired to follow in her father's footsteps to the ring. Emily was petite, but had been a scrapper from the time she was school age, constantly in battles with boys that teased her about being "half white." Being ribbed at home for being a "blue eyed Mexican" was one thing, but she wasn't about to stand for being teased about her heritage from anyone else.

She and Briana had been best friends from the time they were babies; both girls trained at their fathers' school and were made to start at the bottom doing independent shows. When they weren't in the ring at such shows, they were waiting tables or tending bar at Spanky's Place under Kim's supervision, or Emily was working at Lana's temp agency doing odd work around the office.

By the time they had gotten WWE contracts, both Emily and Briana had earned stellar reputations for their work ethic and taking the business seriously, earning respect from even the most hardened veterans.

They would also become the first female tag team to hold a championship. They may not have broken their fathers' record, but they worked hard, and had made it.

Emily was a beautiful woman, garnering plenty of attention from most of the male roster. Unlike most of the other girls, however, she rebuffed such attention, remembering her dad's experience with dating colleagues and how things never worked out for him. Then he had met her mother, who had been his secretary at the time, and finally had his happy ending.

Emily dreamed of such and ending for herself, but in spite of both her and Briana's professional success, she didn't seem to find the right man that measured up, until one day when she wasn't really looking anymore.

Jim Sawyer had been the family mechanic for several years, and he'd known Emily from the time she was born. When his nephew, Mike, had been home from college, the young man had spotted the dark haired, petite lady wrestler when Emily had come in with her mother to have Lana's car inspected.

Though Mike had been shy around girls–he was more geeky in appearance than a _GQ_ model that knew more of the innards of a car than about charming women–he had somehow gotten up the nerve to ask Emily for a date, and to his shock, she had accepted right away.

Emily had found Mike attractive in his own way; she even giggled once and told him he had a nice butt, which made him blush. His shyness and sweet personality had also won her over, and when he proposed six months later, Emily squealed yes.

Both her parents and Jim Sawyer had smiled on the match, and unlike Danny's wedding, Mike and Emily had been wed in a quiet ceremony with less than fifty people present, Briana as her maid of honor and Juliana as a bridesmaid. Jorge and Danny had stood up for Mike.

In spite of all her success, Briana was a rebel who had gone from man to man on the roster. She had liked sex, and she didn't care what people said about her being a slut; Briana figured they were just jealous that she could get guys into bed (and everywhere else) and they couldn't.

Much to her parents' chagrin, Briana eventually eloped with a top star she had dated for only a month and had engaged in marathon sex with on a regular basis. The marriage only lasted sixteen months and was stormy before it ended in divorce.

Not long after, Briana had fallen for one of the new trainers from her dad's wrestling school when he'd come into Spanky's Place one night for a quick dinner. David Clarkson had returned the ardor of the feisty blond girl, dating her for eighteen months before they married. It had been David's first marriage, Briana's second. This time, her parents had approved.

David may not have been as much of a stud in bed as her ex-husband had been, but he had treated her like a queen and supportive of her career, even in times David missed her terribly while Briana was on the road.

Both of their careers had ended when David had been driving Briana home from the airport after she'd wrestled at a PPV; as the car made the bend, another car with a group of teenagers–with the driver being drunk–hit them head on, killing David immediately.

Briana would spend the next three days on life support before her parents made the agonizing decision to have the plug pulled once her organs had been donated; they figured since their daughter would never come back to them again, Briana could live on through someone else via her healthy organs.

She had only been twenty-three when she died only moments after being removed from life support.

Emily had done the eulogy at Briana's funeral, and she had been buried beside David. Both Emily and Briana's ex-husband had also appeared on Raw the following Monday to pay a memorial tribute with the rest of the roster to Briana's memory. Emily had also found it fitting that both hers and Briana's fathers also be present, and they too attended.

Two month's after her partner's and best friend's death, Emily discovered she was pregnant. Taking leave not long after from her own career, she gave birth to a daughter seven months later, naming her Briana Kimberly. Of course, Mike doted on and spoiled his baby girl.

Emily would eventually give up wrestling; it wasn't the same without her best friend anymore and she wanted to spend more time with her baby. By this time, Mike had opened his own garage, and when Kim wanted to sell her share of Spanky's Place, Emily leaped on the opportunity.

She had loved working there during her early days of wrestling training and to be part of the establishment again excited her. Emily had also added a day care center to the place for employees with children. It became a hangout for several superstars when they were in town for a show, as well as students from the nearby wrestling school.

For the first time since Briana's tragic death, Emily was once again happy, especially once she had learned from her mother that her father was tapped to be inducted into the Hall of Fame along with his old partner and best friend.

Outside of Spanky's Place after closing time, Emily and Paul had stood outside pondering for the longest time, smiling up at the heavens, knowing somewhere Briana and David were smiling down back at all of them at their new good fortune. Life would indeed go on.


End file.
